“She was, from my first meeting with her, ever a friend of me and mine....  She was a woman of strong character, of fine personal appearance, always attired in elegant dress, and so perfect in her observance of the elaborate code of Chinese etiquette that it was ever a marvel to me how she remembered the smallest details of the exacting courtesy, never failing to meet the terse and telling instruction of the standard book on etiquette for girls and women, ‘As a guest demand nothing, as a hostess exhaust courtesy....’  The better I knew her the more I esteemed her.”

Mr. Ahok had two beautiful homes in Foochow; one a very fine Chinese house, the other an English residence, elegantly furnished with carpets, pictures, piano, and all other foreign furnishings required for comfort and beauty.  In these two homes he and his wife entertained with great hospitality.  Mrs. Baldwin says that she has often seen almost the entire foreign community of Foochow, officials, missionaries, and business people, entertained in the Ahoks’ home, sometimes in Chinese fashion, sometimes in foreign.  It is, of course, contrary to Chinese custom for the mistress of the home to appear before gentlemen outside of her own family.  Mrs. Ahok, however, knowing that it was the custom in England and America for the hostess to dispense hospitality to her guests, gradually accustomed herself to appearing as hostess at all gatherings where there were foreign guests; first at small dinners, and later in larger companies.  One who was a frequent guest in the home says, “It was a constant surprise to me to see this Chinese lady, so accustomed to seclusion, ever so modestly self-possessed, and in courteous, ladylike bearing, equal to every occasion.”

But although ready to conform to foreign custom when entertaining foreign guests in her home, it was several years before Mrs. Ahok was willing to attend similar gatherings in other homes.  She frequently called at the home of her friend, Mrs. Baldwin, but never when there were strangers there.  On one occasion when Mrs. Baldwin was entertaining a few guests at dinner, she invited Mr. Ahok to dine with them.  He accepted readily, and Mrs. Baldwin went on to say:  “We very much desire that Mrs. Ahok should come with you.  We know your customs, but you have known us for a long time.  Cannot Mrs. Ahok make an exception and come on this occasion?” He seemed very much troubled and replied:  “I would very greatly like to have my wife come, and she would enjoy doing so, and if there were no one here but Mr. Baldwin and you she would come.  But other men will be here, and if she came her chair bearers would know it and her name be injured.”

As has been seen, Mr. Ahok was always very friendly to the missionaries and in sympathy with their work.  The Anglo-Chinese College of the Methodist Mission, for example, was made possible by his generous gift.  But it was some years before he became a Christian.  When the step was finally taken, however, he proved to be a most ardent worker, giving generously to the work of several denominations in various parts of China, holding Christian services in his home, and doing earnest personal work among those with whom he came in contact in the transaction of his business, both in Foochow and on his trips to other cities.