And then the Fairy disappeared.  A few moments later, and poor JOHN SMITH found himself sprawling upon the floor.

“Why, I do believe I have been asleep!” he exclaimed.

And then he woke up in good earnest, and hurried off to the polling stations, and voted for the Moderate candidates.

At least it is to be hoped he will!

* * * * *

[Illustration:  A TRAGEDY ON THE GREAT NORTHERN.

SCENE—­A Third-Class Carriage.       TIME—­Three Hours before the next
Station.       DRAMATIS PERSONAE—­Jones and Robinson.

“IT’S THE LAST!—­AND IT’S A TAeNDSTICKOR.  IT’LL ONLY STRIKE ON THE BOX!”

“STRIKE IT ON THE BOX, THEN;—­BUT FOR HEAVEN’S SAKE, BE CAREFUL!”

“YES; BUT, LIKE A FOOL, I’VE JUST PITCHED THE BOX OUT OF WINDOW!”]

* * * * *

ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

EXTRACTED FROM THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P.

House of Commons, Monday, February 21.—­“What a day he is having to be sure!” murmured the SQUIRE OF MALWOOD, looking across the table at the other eminent country gentleman who is our First Minister of Agriculture.

Truly a great occasion for CHAPLIN, and he rose to its full height.  Just the same man he was six years ago when he from same place, drew lurid picture of the Empire staggering to its doom overweighted with Small Holdings.  Now he is bringing in a Bill to establish Small Holdings, and recommends the expedient to House as crowning edifice of Empire’s prosperity.  At such a crisis some men would have blushed, however entirely foreign to their habit the pretty weakness might be.  CHAPLIN, on contrary, made out in vague, but luminous, manner that he had been right in both instances.  Indeed, the anxious listener had conveyed to him the conviction, still vague but not less irresistible, that this direct contradiction was peculiarly creditable to the Right Hon. Gentleman addressing the House, displaying a flexibility of genius not common to mankind.

CHAPLIN always looms large on whatever horizon he may appear.  To-night, standing at Table introducing Small Holdings Bill, he seemed to swell wisibly before our eyes.  Prince ARTHUR early in progress of the speech observed precaution of moving lower down Bench.  By similar strategic movement, HENRY MATTHEWS drew nearer to Gangway.  Thus CHAPLIN was, so to speak, planted out in Small Holding exclusively his own.

House anxious to hear particulars of Government measure, CHAPLIN, remembering old times when they used to jeer at his sonorous commonplaces uttered below Gangway, took a pretty revenge.  Out of oration of fifty-five minutes duration, he appropriated twenty-five to general observations prefacing exposition of clauses of Bill.  Just the same kind of pompous platitude conveyed in turgid phraseology, at which, in old times, Members used to laugh and run away.  But CHAPLIN had them now.  Like the wedding guest whom the Ancient Mariner button-holed—­though as PLUNKET reminds me, the A.M. was meagre in frame, and CHAPLIN is not—­the House could not help but hear.  Once, when the orator dropped easily into autobiographical episode, described himself strolling about the fields of Lincolnshire, turning up a turnip here, drawing forth a casual carrot there, meditating on the days when