Sergeant K. (after an interval).  Called!  Early cup of tea!  Shaving-water!  Oh, this is too much!

P.R. (coolly).  Not at all, my dear Sir, not half enough.  There are other points I wish to mention.  For example, do you allow feather-beds?

Sergeant K. Feather-beds!

P.R. Yes.  A sine qua non, I assure you.  Then as to pay and pensions, and length of service.  I would only accept an engagement by the month, with liberty to terminate it at any time with a week’s notice.

Sergeant K. (with sarcasm).  And you would wish to retire at a week’s notice if war were declared?

P.R. (surprised).  Certainly!  Why not?  “Peace with Honour” would be my motto.  As to pay, of course you know what I could get if I went in for civil employment?

Sergeant K. No, I don’t, and I don’t see what that has to do with it.  You surely would not compare the QUEEN’S service with the work of a beggarly counter-jumper?

P.R. Yes, I would.  And as I could earn five shillings a-day easily in a shop, why, you will have to give me that, with a pension (as I might do better) of ten shillings a-day after six years’ service.

Sergeant K. Any other point you would like to mention?

P.R. Yes, there is one other.  Why should a labourer be able to get damages from his employer when injured, and a soldier be unable?  The principle of the Employers’ Liability Act must be extended to the Army, so that if any Commanding Officer made some stupid blunder in battle, as he probably would do, and I were to be hurt in consequence, I might sue him when we got back to England.  You understand my point?

Sergeant K. Oh, quite!  But what would there be to prevent every soldier present at the battle from suing also?

P.R. Nothing at all.  Of course they would all sue.  So no General must be permitted to go into action without first of all depositing in the High Court at home security for costs if defeated,—­say half a million or so.

Sergeant K. (with forced politeness).  Well, I’m glad to have heard your views.  I’ll mention them to my Colonel.  They are sure to please him.

P.R. Yes, but don’t keep me waiting long for his reply.  My offer only remains open till to-morrow morning.

Sergeant K. Oh—!

[The remainder of the gallant Sergeant’s observations are not necessary for publication, neither would they be accepted as a guarantee of his good faith.  Exit to recruit.

* * * * *

“THE RING AND THE BOOK.”

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