Bra.  Do’st thou imagine a Woman of sense that has seen he great Court of France, and visited Madam de Trollop, Madam de Frippery, and Madam de Twangdillion, where Ladies are great Politicians, and talk of Ramparts, Bastions, and Aqueducts will prefer thy Parrots and Jack-daws to a Man of Politicks, whom the Prince of Conti consulted about the Kingdom of Poland.  Monsieur Chamillard about the late Invasion.

Nick. I can’t suppose, Major, a Lady of her Intellects, will fling her self away on a Grumbletonian, to have her Estate confiscated, receive Visits in the Gate-house, when her Husband’s clapt up for Treason, and afterwards quarrel with the Heralds about the length of her Veil, when her Spouse made his Exit at Tyburn.

Bra.  Why ha’st thou the assurance to despise Heroes that die in a State Cause, St. Charnock, and St. Gregg; these were Men that made a noise i’the World, whose Names are in ev’ry News Paper, and let the Cause be what it will, I honour People that make a noise in the World.—­But prithee, Mr. Nicknack, what makes you Citizens that spring from a little Counting-house, up three Steps at the further End of a dark Ware-house, attempt Women o’Quality?

Nick.  Why, Sir, I can settle Threescore Thousand Pounds upon her.

Bra.  Settle Threescore Thousand Pounds upon her;—­Wou’d you buy a Wife as you do Scamony and Cocheneal by Inch of Candle?  If I were a Woman, I shou’d hate the sound of an Inch of Candle.  I’ll settle Major Bramble upon her, an inestimable Jewel, and if she has no more sense than to refuse me; for a Chocolate-house, Jelley Eater, she has travell’d to as little improvement, as some other Beau Ladies, that admire the Agility of the French, before the Stability of the Swiss Cantons; therefore you may go tire her with your Monkey tricks, to give her a true relish of my more weighty Arguments.—­In the mean time, I’ll step to the Tow’r, to congratulate the safe Arrival of some very great Persons out of Scotland. [Exit.

Nick.  Now has this old Fellow the vanity to think his Person and Qualities are as acceptable to a fine Woman as if he had been bred at Court; but Asses will herd and bray amongst the fair Kine, like a knot of Stock-jobbing Jews that crowd Garraways Coffee-house, and fright away us Beau Merchants with the stink of Bread and Cheese Snuff. [Exit.

SCENE Changes to Covent-Garden.

    Enter Matter Totty, and Shrimp.

Tot.  Lord!  Lord!  What a hugeous Place this London is?  I thank you heartily, Sir, for taking Care of me; for I shou’d ha’ quite lost my self, and then, perhaps, some strange Person might ha’ taken me up, and ha’ kept me; but what makes People in such a hurry here, as if at Lincoln, the Mayor and Aldermen were going to a Bull-baiting; at other times Folks in the Country walk more slowly, as tho’ they were going to Church.