Col. Ha! what pert Fellow’s this, that whisks it along in a Silk-Drugget Suit, with the empty Air of a Fop Mercer, or a Judge’s Train-bearer?

Sir Har. Oh!  ’Tis young Nicknack, a Beau Merchant, his Father dy’d lately, and left him considerably in Money, he has been bred to business, with a Liberty of Pleasure, a little vain and affected as most young Fellows are; but his Foppery is rather pretty and diverting than tiresome and impertinent.  For his Father obliging him still to live in the City, and follow Business, he has turn’d Commerce into a Jest, and calls himself, The Ladies Merchant; for he imports nothing but Squirrels, Lap-dogs and Guinea piggs to insnare the Women.

    Enter Nicknack.

Nick.  Dear Sir Harry, I have been twice round the Park, in search of you.

Sir Har. Mr. Nicknack pray know the Collonel here; an intimate Friend o’mine just arriv’d from Flanders.

Nick.  Sir, I kiss your Hands, I am glad to find for the Ladies sake, as well as your own, you are not the least disabl’d I wou’d give Ten Guineas, Collonel, to see an Engagement, cou’d one be secure from a Cannon Bullet.

Col.  Ten Guineas to see an Engagement; wou’d you make a show of Desolation, and have Men kill one another to divert your Spleen?  What shou’d any one do i’the Field, that’s afraid of a Cannon Bullet?

Nic.  ’Tis not impossible, Sir, in a whole Army, to find a Person as little dispos’d to swallow a Cannon Bullet as my self; but I shou’d have this preference to him, as I wou’d avoid fighting, I wou’d ask no Pay.

Col.  Ha!  Wit out of Cheapside, I’m afraid City Credit’s at a very low Ebb.

Nick.  Your Pardon, Collonel.——­Sir Harry, have you seen Lady Rodomont this Morning?  I have News for her will make her Heart caper, as mine did at the Death of my Father.  The Bawble Friggat, Captain Gewgaw Commander, is just arriv’d laden with Parrots, Parrotkeits, Monkeys, Mamosets, Leopards, Lowries, Muscovy-Ducks, German-Geese, Danish-Dormice, Portugal-Pigs, Hannover-Hens, and all the Rarities imaginable.

Sir Har.  You are a happy Man, Mr. Nicknack, that have such new ways to ingage the Ladies; if you succeed in your Addresses to Lady Rodomont, from your good Fortune, all the Beaus will turn Traders, and instead of Treats, Balls, and Serenades, we shall have Post Nights, Polices of Insurance, Factors, Agents, and Correspondents to import Niceties for their Mistresses.

Col. [aside] Ridiculous;——­And d’you think a Lady of her Birth and Estate wou’d Marry a City Merchant.