Eger.  But when a man is intoxicated, would that have been a seasonable time to settle business, sir?

Sir Per.  The most seasonable, sir:—­for, sir, when my lord is in his cups—­his suspicion is asleep—­and his heart is aw jollity, fun, and guid fellowship; and sir, can there be a happier moment than that for a bargain, or to settle a dispute with a friend?  What is it you shrug up your shoulders at, sir?

Eger.  At my own ignorance, sir;—­for I understand neither the philosophy nor the morality of your doctrine.

Sir Per.  I know you do not, sir,—­and, what is worse—­you never wull, understand it, as you proceed:  in one word, Charles, I have often told you, and now again I tell you, once for aw, that the manoeuvres of pliability are as necessary to rise in the world, as wrangling and logical subtlety are to rise at the bar:  why you see, sir, I have acquired a noble fortune, a princely fortune—­and how do you think I raised it?

Eger.  Doubtless, sir, by your abilities.

Sir Per.  Doubtless, sir, you are a blockhead:—­nai, sir, I’ll tell you how I raised it.  Sir, I raised it—­by bowing; [Bows ridiculously low.] by bowing:  sir, I never could stand straight in the presence of a great man, but always bowed, and bowed, and bowed—­as it were by instinct.

Eger.  How do you mean by instinct, sir?

Sir Per.  How do I mean by instinct? why, sir, I mean by—­by—­by the instinct of interest, sir, which is the universal instinct of mankind.  Sir, it is wonderful to think, what a cordial, what an amicable, nay, what an infallible influence, bowing has upon the pride and vanity of human nature.  Charles, answer me sincerely, have you a mind to be convinced of the force of my doctrine, by example and demonstration?

Eger.  Certainly, sir.

Sir Per.  Then, sir, as the greatest favour I can confer upon you, I’ll give you a short sketch of the stages of my bowing,—­as an excitement, and a landmark for you to bow be—­and as an infallible nostrum to rise in the world.

Eger.  Sir, I shall be proud to profit by your experience.

Sir Per.  Vary weel, sir:  sit ye down then, sit you down here:  [They sit down.]—­and now, sir, you must recall to your thoughts, that your grandfather was a man, whose penurious income of half pay was the sum total of his fortune;—­and, sir, aw my provision fra him was a modicum of Latin, an expertness in arithmetic, and a short system of worldly counsel; the principal ingredients of which were, a persevering industry, a rigid economy, a smooth tongue, a pliability of temper, and a constant attention to make every man well pleased with himself.

Eger.  Very prudent advice, sir.

Sir Per.  Therefore, sir, I lay it before you.—­Now, sir, with these materials I set out a raw-boned stripling fra the north, to try my fortune with them here in the south; and my first step intill the world was, a beggarly clerkship in Sawney Gordon’s counting house, here in the city of London, which you’ll say afforded but a barren sort of a prospect.