Sir Per.  Ha, ha, ha!—­admirable!—­as guid a stroke of humour as ever I heard of.—­And did they drub him, my lord?

Lord Lum.  Most liberally—­most liberally, sir.—­And there I thought the affair would have rested, till I should think proper to pay the soundrel,—­but this morning, just as I was stepping into my chaise, my servants all about me, a fellow, called a tipstaff, slept up and begged the favour of my footman, who threshed the upholsterer, and of the two that held him, to go along with him upon a little business to my Lord Chief Justice.

Sir Per.  The devil!

Lord Lum.  And at the same instant, I, in my turn, was accosted by two other very civil scoundrels, who, with a most insolent politeness, begged my pardon, and informed me that I must not go into my own chaise.

Sir Per.  How, my lord?—­not into your ain carriage?

Lord Lum.  No, sir:  for that they, by order of the sheriff, must seize it, at the suit of a gentleman—­one Mr. Mahogany, an upholsterer.

Sir Per.  An impudent villain!

Lord Lum.  It is all true, I assure you; so you see, my dear Mac, what a damned country this is to live in, where noblemen are obliged to pay their debts, just like merchants, coblers, peasants, or mechanics—­is not that a scandal, dear Mac. to the nation?

Sir Per.  My lord, it is not only a scandal, but a national grievance.

Lord Lum.  Sir, there is not another nation in the world has such a grievance to complain of.  Now in other countries were a mechanic to dun, and tease, and behave as this Mahogany has done,—­a nobleman might extinguish the reptile in an instant; and that only at the expence of a few sequins, florins, or louis d’ors, according to the country where the affair happened.

Sir Per.  Vary true, my lord, vary true—­and it is monstrous that a mon of your lordship’s condition is not entitled to run one of these mechanics through the body, when he is impertinent about his money; but our laws shamefully, on these occasions, make no distinction of persons amongst us.

Lord Lum.  A vile policy indeed, Sir Pertinax.—­But, sir, the scoundrel has seized upon the house too, that I furnished for the girl I took from the opera.

Sir Per.  I never heard of sic an a scoundrel.

Lord Lum.  Ay, but what concerns me most,—­I am afraid, my dear Mac, that the villain will send down to Newmarket, and seize my string of horses.

Sir Per.  Your string of horses? zounds! we must prevent that at all events:—­that would be sic an a disgrace.  I will dispatch an express to town directly to put a stop till the rascal’s proceedings.

LordLum. Pr’ythee do, my dear Sir Pertinax.

Sir Per. O! it shall be done, my lord.

Lord Lum. Thou art an honest fellow, Sir Pertinax, upon honour.