Sir Per.  You did, indeed.—­And accordingly I was at the levee and waited there till every soul was gone, and, seeing you did not come, I concluded that your lordship was gone before.

Lord Lum.  Why, to confess the truth, my dear Mac, those old sinners, Lord Freakish, General Jolly, Sir Antony Soaker, and two or three more of that set, laid hold of me last night at the opera,—­and, as the General says, ‘from the intelligence of my head this morning,’ I believe we drank pretty deep ere we departed; ha, ha, ha!

Sir Per.  Ha, ha, ha! nay, if you were with that party, my lord, I do not wonder at not seeing your lordship at the levee,

Lord Lum.  The truth is, Sir Pertinax, my fellow let me sleep too long for the levee.—­But I wish I had seen you before you left town—­I wanted you dreadfully.

Sir Per.  I am heartily sorry that I was not in the way:—­but on what account did you want me?

Lord Lum.  Ha, ha, ha! a cursed awkward affair.—­And, ha, ha, ha! yet I cann’t help laughing at it neither—­tho’ it vext me confoundedly.

Sir Per.  Vext you, my lord!  Zounds, I wish I had been with you:—­but, for heaven’s sake, my lord,—­what was it, that could possibly vex your lordship?

Lord Lum.  Why, that impudent, teasing, dunning rascal, Mahogany, my upholsterer.—­You know the fellow?

Sir Per.  Perfectly, my lord.

Lord Lum.  The impudent scoundrel has sued me up to some damned kind of a—­something or other in the law, that I think they call an execution.

Sir Per.  The rascal!

Lord Lum.  Upon which, sir, the fellow, by way of asking pardon—­ha, ha, ha! had the modesty to wait on me two or three days ago, to inform my honour—­ha, ha, ha! as he was pleased to dignify me,—­that the execution was now ready to be put in force against my honour;—­but that out of respect to my honour—­as he had taken a great deal of my honour’s money—­ he would not suffer his lawyer to serve it, till he had first informed my honour, because he was not willing to affront my honour; ha, ha, ha! a son of a whore!

SirPer.  I never heard of so impudent a dog.

Lord Lum.  Now, my dear Mac,—­ha, ha, ha! as the scoundrel’s apology was so very satisfactory, and his information so very agreeable—­I told him that, in honour, I thought that my honour cou’d not do less than to order his honour to be paid immediately.

Sir Per.  Vary weel—­vary weel,—­you were as complaisant as the scoundrel till the full, I think, my lord.

Lord Lum.  You shall hear,—­you shall hear, Mac:—­so, sir, with great composure, seeing a smart oaken cudgel that stood very handily in a corner of my dressing room, I ordered two of my fellows to hold the rascal, and another to take the cudgel and return the scoundrel’s civility with a good drubbing as long as the stick lasted.