The spirit of our troops remains excellent.  You can see that this is true from the fact that my joke still works.  Every night for the last three months, while administering quinine to my army, I have exhorted them not to be greedy and not to take too much.  They still laugh heartily, nay uproariously.  We are a wonderful nation.

Our chief source of combined instruction and amusement is still the antheap beside us, and in this connection, Jeremiah, I must introduce to you Herbert, a young officer in the ant A.S.C.

When we first knew Herbert (or “’Erb” as he was known in those days), he was an impudent and pushful private.  When his corps were engaged in removing the larger pieces of straw out of their hole in the hill, many a time I have seen him staggering manfully towards the entrance with an enormous piece on his slender shoulders, against the tide of his comrades; for he never could resist the temptation to replace the really big stalks in the hole.  As he knocked against one and another the older ants would step aside, lay down their loads, and expostulate with him, always ending by giving him a good clip on the ear; but ’Erb was never dismayed.

Now and again, during a temporary slackness in the stream, he would disappear triumphantly into the hole, his log trailing behind him; but his triumph was always short-lived.  I would seem to hear a scuffle and two bumps, and ’Erb would shoot gracefully upwards, followed by his burden, and fall in a heap beside the door.  However, as soon as he recovered he would try again.  On one sultry afternoon I noticed he succeeded in effecting an entrance after twenty-three successive chuck-outs.

His persistence piqued my curiosity.  I wondered why he should so obstinately try to do a thing which was obviously distasteful to all his seniors.  And then, yesterday, there was a change.

’Erb was resting after his eighth chuck-out under a plank when a venerable ant, heavy with the accumulated wisdom and weakness of years, approached the exit from within and tried to get out, but in vain.  He swore and struggled in a futile sort of way, while his attendant subordinates stood about helplessly.  ’Erb saw his opportunity.  He seized his plank, dashed forward—­you may not believe me, Jerry, but it is the gospel truth—­saluted smartly, and laid down his plank as a sort of ladder.  Supporting himself upon it the veteran crawled out.  Then he spoke to ’Erb, and I think I saw him asking someone the lad’s name.

That is why Second Lieutenant Herbert is to-day in charge of a working party.  He is now engaged in clipping the ear of a larger ant.  I imagine there must have been some lack of discipline.  Possibly his inferior had addressed him as “Erb.”

Well, all our prospects are pleasing and only Bulgar vile.  I must now make a martial noise, so au revoir.

          Thine,
          PETER.

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