***

A farmer in the Weald of Kent is offering 13_s._ 6_d._ a week, board and lodging not provided, to a horseman willing to work fifteen hours a day.  It is understood that this insidious attempt to popularise agriculture at the expense of the army has been the subject of a heated interchange of letters between the War Office and the Board of Agriculture.

***

“The warmest places in England yesterday,” says The Pall Mall Gazette, “were Scotland and the South-West of England.”  We have got into trouble before now with our Caledonian purists for speaking of Great Britain as England, but we never said a thing like that.

***

A London doctor, says The Daily Mail, estimates that colds cost this country L15,000,000 annually.  If that is the case we may say at once that we think the charge is excessive.

***

A gossip-writer makes much of the fact that he saw a telegraph messenger running in Shoe Lane the other morning.  We are glad to be in a position to clear up this mystery.  It appears that the messenger in question was in the act of going off duty.

***

There seems to be no intention of issuing sugar tickets—­until a suitable palace can be obtained for the accommodation of the functionary responsible for this feature.

***

The charge for cleaning white gloves has been increased, and it is likely that there will be a return to the piebald evening wear so much in vogue in Soho restaurants.

***

The 1917 pennies appear to be thinner than those of pre-War issues, and several maiden ladies have written to the authorities asking if income tax has been deducted at the source.

* * * * *

[Illustration:  “What the devil are you doing down that shell-hole?  Didn’t you hear me say we were out against four to one?”

Geordie (a trade-unionist). “Ay.  AA heard you; but AA’VE killed Ma Fower.”]

* * * * *

    “‘The Land of Promise’ ... was only withdrawn from the Duke of York’s
    in the height of its success owing to the declaration of War in
    1894.”—­The Stage.

Is it really only twenty-three years?

* * * * *

“Residents early astir on Sunday morning had an unpleasant surprise.  A sharp frost over-night had converted the road surfaces into glassy ice, which made walking impossible without some assistance.  A walking-stick, without some sort of boot covering, was of little avail.”—­Oxford Times.

That was our own experience with a walking-stick which was absolutely bootless.