on the contrary, a deformity of the grossest nature.  They are affected to the last degree, and with this aggravation, that it is an affectation of the grossest nature; for, in a word, it is affecting to be thought a man of more than ordinary sense by writing extraordinary nonsense; and affecting to be a man of business, by giving orders and expressing your meaning in terms which a man of business may not think himself bound by.  For example, a tradesman at Hull writes to his correspondent at London the following letter:—­

’SIR, yours received, have at present little to reply.  Last post you had bills of loading, with invoice of what had loaden for your account in Hamburgh factor bound for said port.  What have farther orders for, shall be dispatched with expedition.  Markets slacken much on this side; cannot sell the iron for more than 37s.  Wish had your orders if shall part with it at that rate.  No ships since the 11th.  London fleet may be in the roads before the late storm, so hope they are safe:  if have not insured, please omit the same till hear farther; the weather proving good, hope the danger is over.

My last transmitted three bills exchange, import L315; please signify if are come to hand, and accepted, and give credit in account current to your humble servant.’

I pretend to say there is nothing in all this letter, though appearing to have the face of a considerable dealer, but what may be taken any way, pro or con.  The Hamburgh factor may be a ship, or a horse—­be bound to Hamburgh or London.  What shall be dispatched may be one thing, or any thing, or every thing, in a former letter.  No ships since the 11th, may be no ships come in, or no ships gone out.  The London fleet being in the roads, it may be the London fleet from Hull to London, or from London to Hull, both being often at sea together.  The roads may be Yarmouth roads, or Grimsby, or, indeed, any where.

By such a way of writing, no orders can be binding to him that gives them, or to him they are given to.  A merchant writes to his factor at Lisbon:—­

’Please to send, per first ship, 150 chests best Seville, and 200 pipes best Lisbon white.  May value yourself per exchange L1250 sterling, for the account of above orders.  Suppose you can send the sloop to Seville for the ordered chests, &c.  I am.’

Here is the order to send a cargo, with a please to send; so the factor may let it alone if he does not please.[8] The order is 150 chests Seville; it is supposed he means oranges, but it may be 150 chests orange-trees as well, or chests of oil, or any thing.  Lisbon white, may be wine or any thing else, though it is supposed to be wine.  He may draw L1250, but he may refuse to accept it if he pleases, for any thing such an order as that obliges him.

On the contrary, orders ought to be plain and explicit; and he ought to have assured him, that on his drawing on him, his bills should be honoured—­that is, accepted and paid.