A.—­Good sir, do not ask me the character of my neighbours—­I resolve to meddle with nobody’s character; pray, do not inquire of me.

B.—­Well, but, sir, you know the gentleman; you live next door to him; you can tell me, if you please, all that I desire to know, whether he is a man in credit, and fit to be trusted, or no, in the way of his business.

A.—­I tell you, sir, I meddle with no man’s business; I will not give characters of my neighbours—­it is an ill office—­a man gets no thanks for it, and perhaps deserves none.

B.—­But, sir, you would be willing to be informed and advised, if it were your own case.

A.—­It may be so, but I cannot oblige people to inform me.

B.—­But you would entreat it as a favour, and so I come to you.

A.—­But you may go to any body else.

B.—­But you are a man of integrity; I can depend upon what you say; I know you will not deceive me; and, therefore, I beg of you to satisfy me.

A.—­But I desire you to excuse me, for it is what I never do—­I cannot do it.

B.—­But, sir, I am in a great strait; I am just selling him a great parcel of goods, and I am willing to sell them too, and yet I am willing to be safe, as you would yourself, if you were in my case.

A.—­I tell you, sir, I have always resolved to forbear meddling with the characters of my neighbours—­it is an ill office.  Besides, I mind my own business; I do not enter into the inquiries after other people’s affairs.

B.—­Well, sir, I understand you, then; I know what I have to do.

A.—­What do you mean by that?

B.—­Nothing, sir, but what I suppose you would have me understand by it.

A.—­I would have you understand what I say—­namely, that I will meddle with nobody’s business but my own.

B.—­And I say I understand you; I know you are a good man, and a man of charity, and loth to do your neighbours any prejudice, and that you will speak the best of every man as near as you can.

A.—­I tell you, I speak neither the best nor the worst—­I speak nothing.

B.—­Well, sir, that is to say, that as charity directs you to speak well of every man, so, when you cannot speak well, you refrain, and will say nothing; and you do very well, to be sure; you are a very kind neighbour.

A.—­But that is a base construction of my words; for I tell you, I do the like by every body.

B.—­Yes, sir, I believe you do, and I think you are in the right of it—­am fully satisfied.

A.—­You act more unjustly by me than by my neighbour; for you take my silence, or declining to give a character, to be giving an ill character.

B.—­No, sir, not for an ill character.

A.—­But I find you take it for a ground of suspicion.