“I won’t do’t,” said gallant Private O’GRADY, the hot Celtic blood swiftly brought to boiling pitch by this insult to St. Patrick.  Irish Members vociferously cheered when STANHOPE read the passage from Colonel’s report.  Another non-commissioned officer advancing from the rear, repeated order.

“I won’t do’t!” roared the implacable Private O’GRADY.

Once more the Irish Members burst into cheering, whilst a soldier in uniform in Strangers’ Gallery looked on and listened.  Would like to hear his account of scene confided to comrades in privacy of barrack-room.

When STANHOPE finished reading report of officer commanding battalion, Irish Members leaped to their feet in body, each anxious to stand shoulder to shoulder with Private O’GRADY defying the Saxon.  NOLAN, who had set ball rolling, might have got in first, but was so excited as to be momentarily speechless; could only paw at the air in direction of Treasury Bench where STANHOPE sat, PAT O’BRIEN, ARTHUR O’CONNOR, the wily WEBB, and the flaccid FLYNN, all shouting together.  But SEXTON beat them all, and will duly figure in Parliamentary Report as Vindicator of Nationality, Defender of St. Patrick, and Patron of Private O’GRADY.

“There’s nothing new about Ireland,” said POLTALLOCH, talking the matter over later in the Lobby. “’Tis the most distressful country that ever yet was seen, Where they punish T. O’GRADY For the wearing of the Green.”

Business done.—­Small Holdings Bill read Second Time.

Friday Night.—­House behaved nobly to-night; FENWICK brought forward Motion proposing payment of Members.  House arbiter of situation; might have voted itself anything a year it pleased.  Only say the word, and JOKIM would have been bound to find the money.  Members flocked down in large numbers:  CAMPBELL-BANNERMAN, seated on Front Opposition Bench, declares he could distinctly hear smacking of lips of Hon. Members below Gangway when FENWICK observed he thought L365 a year would be reasonable allowance.  However insidious temptation may have been, it was nobly resisted.  Of nearly 400 Members who took part in Division, only 162 reached out their hand for the pittance, 227 lofty souls going into other Lobby.

Business done.—­Private Bill Procedure Bill brought in.

* * * * *

[Illustration:  “‘SAFETY MATCHES’ FOR LIFE.—­The following notice has been issued by the Salvation Army:  ’Safety matches are now made by the Social Wing without sulphur or phosphorus, which will flame without striking.  What do we mean?  Just this.  That if you are unmarried, and do not know where to chose a partner, you can communicate with Colonel BARKER, Matrimonial Bureau, 101, Queen Victoria Street, E.C., and he will most probably supply you with just what you want—­somebody loveable and good.’”]

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VERY ORCHID!

    ["The more I think about it, the more I am convinced that the
    life of a Peer is not a happy one.”—­Mr. Chamberlain, before
    the Jewellers’ and Silversmiths’ Association at Birmingham.]