Punch, Or The London Charivari, Volume 102, March 26, 1892 eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 33 pages of information about Punch, Or The London Charivari, Volume 102, March 26, 1892.

Punch, Or The London Charivari, Volume 102, March 26, 1892 eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 33 pages of information about Punch, Or The London Charivari, Volume 102, March 26, 1892.

  Young WILHELM was a wilful lad,
  And lots of “cheek” young WILHELM had. 
  He deemed the world should hail with joy
  A smart and self-sufficient boy,
  And do as it by him was told;
  He was so wise, he was so bold. 
  If anyone dared stop his play,
  He screamed out—­“Take the wretch away! 
  Oh, take my enemy away! 
  I won’t have any foes to-day!”

His old adviser WILHELM swore Was a pig-headed senile bore. He meant to try another tack, So his Old Pilot got the sack.  Nay more, one day, in a fierce squall, He smashed his picture on the wall; Tore up the papers when they said He was a little “off his head.”  He yelled, in his despotic way, “Not any Press for me,” I say!  “Oh, take that nasty Punch away I won’t have any Punch to-day!”
He deemed himself, and this was odd, A sort of new Olympian god; And when the wise, who watched his whim, Sighed, “Have the gods demented him? Quem deus vult, et cetera” he Was just as mad as mad could be; And, just like other angry boys, Kicked over tables, smashed his toys, And cried out, “Take the things away!  I’ll have nought but new toys to-day!”

  “Prudence?” he yelled; “what do I care?”
  And here he kicked the old pet Bear
  His sire and grandsire had so cherished,
  Till the old policy had perished
  With Wilful WILHELM, who preferred
  The Eagles.  With a pole he stirred
  Big Bruin up.  “Oh, I’ll surprise him! 
  And, if he growls, I’ll ‘pulverise’ him.” 
  Some thought that picking rows with Bruin
  Meant folly, if it did not ruin;
  But when they whispered words of warning,
  Then Wilful WILHELM, counsel scorning,
  Shrieked, “Take the nasty brute away! 
  I won’t have any Bears to-day!”

  Now, WILHELM, do not be absurd,
  But listen to a friendly word! 
  You are a clever boy, no doubt,
  And very smart, and very stout,
  Like young AUGUSTUS, dainty eater,
  Whose story is in Struwwelpeter
  Did’st ever read those truthful stories,
  Good Dr. HEINRICH HOFFMANN’s glories,
  Which round the world have travelled gaily,
  By Nursery pets consulted daily? 
  If not, just get “Shock-headed PETER”;
  Read of AUGUSTUS, the soup-eater,
  And stuck-up “JOHNNY Head-in-Air,”
  Who came down “bump” all unaware. 
  And “Fidgety PHILIP.”  You’ll confess them
  Pointed,—­and don’t try to suppress them,
  Like Princes, party-men and papers
  Which can’t admire all your mad capers! 
  My Wilful WILHELM, you’ll not win
  By dint of mere despotic din;
  By kicking everybody over
  In whom a critic you discover,
  Or shouting in your furious way,
  “Oh, take the nasty Punch away! 
  I won’t have any Punch to-day!”

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Copyrights
Project Gutenberg
Punch, Or The London Charivari, Volume 102, March 26, 1892 from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.