Now, then, what did he leisurely proceed to do?  There’s a fortune in it!—­somewhere!—­says

THE BARON DE BOOK-WORMS.

* * * * *

[Illustration:  STUDIES IN ANIMAL LIFE.

THE GOORMONG. (EPICURI DE GREGE PORCUS.  BRITISH ISLES.)

Mr. Huggins. “WHAT A ’EAVENLY DINNER IT WAS!”

Mr. Buggins. “B’LIEVE YER!  MYKES YER WISH YER WAS BORN ’OLLER!”]

* * * * *

SPRING TIME IN LEAP YEAR;

OR, THE JOLLY BATHERS.

First Jolly Bather (singing, quaveringly):—­
        Spring’s delights are now revi-i-i-vi-i-i-ng,
          Verdant leaflets deck each spr-a-ay!

Second Jolly Bather (impatiently). Don’t, ARTHUR, make that row!  B-r-r-r! (Shivers.) Spring’s delights, indeed!  And as to the “verdant leaflets” (unless you mean election squibs), where are they?

First Ditto. Ah, “verdant leaflets” not a bad name for Financial Reform tracts, et id genus omne.  Touch of your old satirical Saturday-Reviewish style there, Nunky!

Second Ditto (hastily).  Oh, bother!  What are we here for?

First Ditto (coolly).  Why, to bathe, I presume.

Second Ditto. Bah!  One would think, ARTHUR, we belonged to that society of lunatics who make a point of taking a matutinal plunge in the Serpentine every morning, all the year round, even if they have to break the ice to do it!  Ineffable idiots! [Curls up.

First Ditto. Well, we may as well put a good face on it, Uncle.

    [Grimaces.

Second Ditto.  Ah, yes, you can say so—­at your age, ARTHUR.  I like my morning tub in my bath-room—­with the chill off.

    [Wraps his towel round his neck.

First Ditto. (Sings again, tremolo):—­
        Why linger shivering on the brink,
          And fear to launch away?

Second Ditto (sharply).  Why, you’re at it again, ARTHUR!  And a Conventicler’s hymn, too, this time.  I’m a-a-shamed of you.

First Ditto.  Ah! that’s what LABOUCHERE, O’KELLY, CONYBEARE, and Company say! I don’t mind; in fact, as I told ’em, I rather like it.  Does me a world of good.

Second Ditto (admiringly).  Ah! you have got a nerve, ARTHUR.  I will say that for you.  Still, you’ve been giving them something to “guy” you about lately, you know.

First Ditto (sharply).  Ah! have I?  Well, “I can assure you that I am the last person in the world to object to a process from which I have profited so much.”

Second Ditto.  Oh, yes, that was all very well for them, over yonder.  In fact, I own it was rather neatly put.