“Well, of course I seen the worst had happened with Alonzo.  So I says to Ben:  ’You know there’s a party to-night and if that man ain’t seen to he will certainly sink the ship.  Now you get him out of that swamp and I’ll think of something.’  ‘I’ll do it,’ says Ben, turning sideways so he could go through the doorway again.  ‘I’ll do it,’ he says, ’if I have to use force on the little scoundrel.’

“And sure enough, in a minute he edged out again with Alonzo firmly fastened to him in some way.  Lon hadn’t wanted to come and didn’t want to stay now, but he simply couldn’t move.  Say, that Ben Sutton would make an awful grand anchor for a captive balloon.  Alonzo wiped his eyes until he could see who I was.  Then I rebuked him, reminding him of his sacred duties as a prominent citizen, a husband, and the secretary of the Red Gap Chamber of Commerce.  ’Of course it’s all right to take a drink now and then,’ I says.

“Alonzo brightened at this.  ‘Good!’ says he; ’now it’s now and pretty soon it will be then.  Let’s go into a saloon or something like that!’

“‘You’ll come with me,’ I says firmly.  And I marched ’em down to the United States Grill, where I ordered tea and toast for ’em.  Ben was sensible enough, but Alonzo was horrified at the thought of tea.  ’It’s tea or nice cold water for yours,’ I says, and that set him off again.  ‘Water!’ he sobs.  ’Water!  Water!  Maybe you don’t know that some dear cousins of mine have just lost their all in the Dayton flood—­twenty years’ gathering went in a minute, just like that!’ and he tried to snap his fingers.  All the same I got some hot tea into him and sent for Eddie Pierce to be out in front with his hack.  While we was waiting for Eddie it occurs to Alonzo to telephone his wife.  He come back very solemn and says:  ’I told her I wouldn’t be home to dinner because I was hungry and there probably wouldn’t be enough meat, what with a vegetarian poet in the house.  I told her I should sink to the level of a brute in the night life of our gay little city.  I said I was a wayward child of Nature myself if you come right down to it.’

“‘Good for you,’ I says, having got word that Eddie is outside with his hack.  ‘And now for the open road!’ ‘Fine!’ says Alonzo.  ’My spirit is certainly feeling very untamed, like some poet’s!’ So I hustled ’em out and into the four wheeler.  Then I give Eddie Pierce private instructions.  ’Get ’em out into the hills about four miles,’ I says, ’out past the Catholic burying ground, then make an excuse that your hack has broke down, and as soon as they set foot to the ground have them skates of yours run away.  Pay no attention whatever to their pleadings or their profane threats, only yelling to ’em that you’ll be back as soon as possible.  But don’t go back.  They’ll wait an hour or so, then walk.  And they need to walk.’