The Chief of Police of——­, for instance, a town of only about 7,000 inhabitants, refused L2,000 a year for the local gambling rights.

Again, a gardener, whom I knew, was put in jail for being drunk and disorderly.  On going to the place some time later I found the man still imprisoned.  “Why,” I asked, “for such a small offence”?  “We found,” was the answer, “that when sober he was such a good workman that we could not spare him from the job of cleaning the stables.”

On the other hand, a friend of mine was dissatisfied with the policeman he had, and sent the sergeant into the township to exchange him for another.  The man returned with a particularly villainous-looking specimen, and when asked where he had got him, explained that the Chief of Police had told him to look among the prisoners for a suitable man, give him a uniform and take him.

“I thought this was the best of them; but they all wanted to come,” he concluded ingenuously.

Another commissary in the north of this country flattered himself on his revolver-shooting, and used to perform the feat of shooting the hat off a man’s head without hurting him.  He was in the local bar one day when a peon entered with a brand new white hat; it was an opportunity not to be missed.  Crack—­and the man fell with a bullet through his temple instead of his hat.

Did the Comisario stand stricken with remorse, or burst into self-reproach?  No.  He moved the body with the toe of his boot and remarked:  “Carramba, I am getting a very poor shot nowadays.”

A story which was told me in the province of Rio Negro, and which was well vouched for, contained serio-comic elements of which I believe the perpetrator, whom I knew personally, quite capable.

An old man who owned a considerable quantity of land, died intestate.  A man who lived with him, Garcia by name, had no idea of letting the property go to distant unknown relations, and concocted the following plot (obviously with the connivance of the neighbouring Justice of the Peace, who was a friend of his).

The law allows that a sane man “in articulo mortis,” and past the power of speech, may make statements by signs:  so when the Justice was summoned to the house, Garcia told him that the man was not yet dead, and wished to make his will.

Garcia seated himself at the foot of the bed, while the Justice at the side addressed questions to the deceased on the following lines:—­

“Do you wish me to record your last will and testament?”

The corpse nodded.

“Do you wish your property to pass into your cousins’ hands?”

The head moved from side to side.

“Do you intend to make Garcia your sole legatee?”

The deceased nodded several times.

Two witnesses were brought, and the business was settled with commendable promptitude.

I think it was Garcia himself who explained, some time afterwards, that as the dead man wore a full beard and whiskers, it was easy enough to hide the strings passing from his ears and chin to the foot of the bed under the coverings.