* * * * *

DEMEANING THEMSELVES so!—­Mrs. R. cannot understand our aristocracy being constantly Chairmen at public dinners. She wouldn’t be a Chairwoman for anything.

* * * * *

WHERE “GHOSTS” OUGHT TO EXIST.—­“Haunt ’un Street, W.”  It’s an artistic quarter. [Is this Hornton Street?  Possibly.—­ED.]

* * * * *

PEOPLE WHO WOULD BE ALL THE BETTER FOR BECOMING TEMPERANCE MEN.—­“The Lushais.”

* * * * *

[Illustration:  “DIVIDED DUTY.”

Right Hon. the Minister for War.  “SURELY, MY LORD CHANCELLOR, YOU CAN EXEMPT HIM FROM JURIES.  THE ’REGULARS’—­”

Lord Chancellor.  “WELL, NO, MR. STANHOPE, I THINK NOT.” (Aside.) “WE MUST MAKE SOME USE OF HIM!”]

* * * * *

LIVING AND LEARNING.

MISS SYMPEL, who has never been out of London, saw an advertisement headed “Salmon Flies” in a shop window.  “Well!” she exclaimed, “I never knew till now that Salmon was a flying fish!”

* * * * *

“A cabinet Minister in the Casual Ward,” was the heading of an article in the D.T. last Friday, and it turned out to be all about the Richie and the Poorie.

* * * * *

THE BEHRING SEA QUESTION.—­Some delay at present, but immediately after signing we shall commence “sealing.”

* * * * *

THE FORCE OF EXAMPLE.

(A STORY OF ADVENTURE NOT IN THE LEAST LIKELY TO BE TRUE.)

“Do you see what RITCHIE has been doing?” asked the Secretary of State for War of one of his colleagues.

“If you mean visiting the Casual Wards, after attending a meeting in the East End of London, I do,” replied the Home-Secretary.  “An excellent idea, no doubt, suggested by that old story of the Amateur Casual, which appeared some twenty or thirty years ago in the columns of an evening paper.”

“But don’t you think it is playing it a little low?” suggested the First Lord of the Admiralty.

“Well, I don’t know,” returned the Autocrat of the W.O.  “After all, there is nothing like personal experience.”

And then all three were silent, lost in profound consideration.  Shortly afterwards they bade one another adieu, declaring that they had greatly enjoyed their Cabinet Council.

It was some hours later that a soldier, wearing the uniform of the Guards, appeared at the Wellington Barracks, and requested that he might be permitted to undertake a spell of “sentry go.”  He was not known by the Non-commissioned Officer on duty, but as his papers appeared to be correct, permission was given him to act as substitute for Private SMITH, who was next on the roster.

And about the same time a person, wearing the garb of a convict, made his way to one of Her Majesty’s Prisons, and requested an interview with the Governor.  His garb obtained for him immediate admission to the precincts of the gaol.