Vet. (looking at sieve).  Seem to shy that feed!

Groom.  I mixed it with the greatest care, and
          fixed it
    With an eye to tempt his appetite, but there, he’s off his grub!

Vet. (to Stable-help).  Takes your green stuff better?

Stable-help.  True, Sir!

Groom.  But too much o’ that won’t do,
          Sir. 
     Can’t live on tares entirely! (Aside.) This here boy’s too
          full of beans.

Vet. Ah!  I see the whole position.  He’s a bit out of condition,
    Wants a tonic and skilled treatment.  Yes, no doubt that’s what
          it means. 
  With an appetite that’s picksome comes a temper tart and tric
     But a pick-me-up—­I’ll send one—­will, I’m sure set all that
          square. 
  And if there’s further wasting, then, without too headlong hasting,
    Give him, as soon as possible—­a little Country Air!

* * * * *

LORD WILDERMERE’S MOTHER-IN-LAW.

  She’s as bad as can be, but she’s “Precious” to me,
    Though her conduct cannot be called free from a flaw;
  For in spite of blackmail, I have vowed ne’er to fail
    In the duty I owe to my Mother-in-law.

  There have been flippant sneers and conventional jeers,
    At a worthy relation that I hold in awe;
  Though it angers my wife, all the joy of my life
    Comes from drawing big cheques—­for my Mother-in-law.

  Peccadilloes she had, but she isn’t all bad,
    And the folks who have sneered shall their libels withdraw;
  To our dance she shall come, and the world be struck dumb
    At the way that I’ve whitewashed my Mother-in-law.

  She shall rise from the slime of what people called crime,
    To a virtuous height, for I always foresaw
  ’Twould be wise to proclaim to all ages the fame
    Of that much-maligned female—­a Mother-in-law.

* * * * *

[Illustration:  WHAT OUR ARTIST (THE CHEEKY ONE) HAS TO PUT UP WITH.

“LOOK HERE, MY PRINCE OF PICTURE-DEALERS—­A GREAT FRIEND OF MINE, THE
COUNTESS OF WATERBRUSH, IS GOING TO HAVE AN ART STALL AT THE LITTLE
PEDDLINGTON BAZAAR.  COULD YOU SPARE HER LADYSHIP ANY OLD RUBBISH YOU
CAN’T GET RID OF?  IT’S FOR A CHARITY, YOU KNOW.” —­ “ACH!  ZOH!  VELL,
MY YOONG VRENT, I HAFE ZUM TOZENS OF YOUR VATER-CULLERS ZAT PERHAPS
HER LATYSHIP MIGHT MANAGE TO KET RIT OF—­FOR A CHARITY, YOU KNOW! 
SHE IS FERRY VELCOME, I ASSURE YOU!”]

* * * * *

DEATH IN THE POP.