[A WAITRESS brings a cup of chocolate, places it before MRS. X., and disappears again.]

MRS. X. [Sips a few spoonfuls; opens the basket and displays a number of Christmas presents] See what I’ve bought for my tots. [Picks up a doll] What do you think of this?  Lisa is to have it.  She can roll her eyes and twist her head, do you see?  Fine, is it not?  And here’s a cork pistol for Carl. [Loads the pistol and pops it at Miss Y.]

[MISS Y. starts as if frightened.]

MRS. X. Did I scare you?  Why, you didn’t fear I was going to shoot you, did you?  Really, I didn’t think you could believe that of me.  If you were to shoot me—­well, that wouldn’t surprise me the least.  I’ve got in your way once, and I know you’ll never forget it—­but I couldn’t help it.  You still think I intrigued you away from the Royal Theatre, and I didn’t do anything of the kind—­ although you think so.  But it doesn’t matter what I say, of course—­ you believe it was I just the same. [Pulls out a pair of embroidered slippers] Well, these are for my hubby—–­tulips—­I’ve embroidered them myself.  Hm, I hate tulips—­and he must have them on everything.

[MISS Y. looks up from the paper with an expression of mingled sarcasm and curiosity.]

MRS. X. [Puts a hand in each slipper] Just see what small feet Bob has.  See?  And you should see him walk—­elegant!  Of course, you’ve never seen him in slippers.

[MISS Y. laughs aloud.]

MRS. X. Look here—­here he comes. [Makes the slippers walk across the table.]

[MISS Y. laughs again.]

MRS. X. Then he gets angry, and he stamps his foot just like this:  “Blame that cook who can’t learn how to make coffee.”  Or:  “The idiot—­now that girl has forgotten to fix my study lamp again.”  Then there is a draught through the floor and his feet get cold:  “Gee, but it’s freezing, and those blanked idiots don’t even know enough to keep the house warm.” [She rubs the sole of one slipper against the instep of the other.]

[MISS Y. breaks into prolonged laughter.]

MRS. X. And then he comes home and has to hunt for his slippers—­ Mary has pushed them under the bureau.  Well, perhaps it is not right to be making fun of one’s own husband.  He’s pretty good for all that—­a real dear little hubby, that’s what he is.  You should have such a husband—­what are you laughing at?  Can’t you tell?  Then, you see, I know he is faithful.  Yes, I know, for he has told me himself—­what in the world makes you giggle like that?  That nasty Betty tried to get him away from me while I was on the road—–­ can you think of anything more infamous? [Pause] But I’d have scratched the eyes out of her face, that’s what I’d have done if I had been at home when she tried it. [Pause] I’m glad Bob told me all about it, so I didn’t have to hear it first from somebody else. [Pause] And just think of it, Betty was not the only one!  I don’t know why it is, but all women seem to be crazy after my husband.  It must be because they imagine his government position gives him something to say about the engagements.  Perhaps you’ve tried it yourself—­you may have set your traps for him, too?  Yes, I don’t trust you very far—­but I know he never cared for you—­and then I have been thinking you rather had a grudge against him.