an exhibition then where I didn’t hold a place
of honour. Sometimes you were St. Cecilia, and
sometimes Mary Stuart—or little Karin, whom
King Eric loved. And I turned public attention
in your direction. I compelled the clamorous
herd to see yon with my own infatuated vision.
I plagued them with your personality, forced you literally
down their throats, until that sympathy which makes
everything possible became yours at last—and
you could stand on your own feet. When you reached
that far, then my strength was used up, and I collapsed
from the overstrain—in lifting you up, I
had pushed myself down. I was taken ill, and
my illness seemed an annoyance to you at the moment
when all life had just begun to smile at you—
and sometimes it seemed to me as if, in your heart,
there was a secret desire to get rid of your creditor
and the witness of your rise. Your love began
to change into that of a grown-up sister, and for
lack of better I accustomed myself to the new part
of little brother. Your tenderness for me remained,
and even increased, but it was mingled with a suggestion
of pity that had in it a good deal of contempt.
And this changed into open scorn as my talent withered
and your own sun rose higher. But in some mysterious
way the fountainhead of your inspiration seemed to
dry up when I could no longer replenish it—or
rather when you wanted to show its independence of
me. And at last both of us began to lose ground.
And then you looked for somebody to put the blame on.
A new victim! For you are weak, and you can never
carry your own burdens of guilt and debt. And
so you picked me for a scapegoat and doomed me to
slaughter. But when you cut my thews, you didn’t
realise that you were also crippling yourself, for
by this time our years of common life had made twins
of us. You were a shoot sprung from my stem,
and you wanted to cut yourself loose before the shoot
had put out roots of its own, and that’s why
you couldn’t grow by yourself. And my stem
could not spare its main branch—and so
stem and branch must die together.
TEKLA. What you mean with all this, of course,
is that you have written my books.
ADOLPH. No, that’s what you want me to
mean in order to make me out a liar. I don’t
use such crude expressions as you do, and I spoke
for something like five minutes to get in all the nuances,
all the halftones, all the transitions—but
your hand-organ has only a single note in it.
TEKLA. Yes, but the summary of the whole story
is that you have written my books.
ADOLPH. No, there is no summary. You cannot
reduce a chord into a single note. You cannot
translate a varied life into a sum of one figure.
I have made no blunt statements like that of having
written your books.
TEKLA. But that’s what you meant!
ADOLPH. [Beyond himself] I did not mean it.
TEKLA. But the sum of it—
ADOLPH. [Wildly] There can be no sum without an addition.
You get an endless decimal fraction for quotient when
your division does not work out evenly. I have
not added anything.