Wot do you think?  Bless yer ’earts, gents, I wos down some
          months ago
  With a bout o’ the rheumatics, and ’ad got so precious low
  I wos sent by some good ladies, wot acrost me chanced to come—­
  Bless their kindness!—­to a ’evvin called a Convalescent ’Ome.

  Phew!  Wen I come back to Rats’ Rents, ’ow I sickened of its smells,
  Arter all them trees and ’ayfields, and them laylocks and
          blue-bells,
  And sometimes I think—­pertikler when I’m nabbed by them old pains—­
  Wot a proper world it might be if it weren’t for dirt and drains.

Who’s to blame for Dirt?  Yer washups, praps it ain’t for me to say, But—­I don’t think there’d be much of it if ’twasn’t made to pay! Who does it pay?  The Renters or the Rented?  I’ve no doubt When you spot who cops the Slum-swag—­wy, yer won’t be so fur out!

[Footnote 1:  Landlordism, by HENRY LAZARUS.]

* * * * *

WRIGHT AND WRONG.

“We are getting on by leaps and bounds,” remarked Mr. WILDEY WEIGHT, during a recent case.  Whereat there was “laughter.”  But Mr. HORACE BROWNE, for Plaintiff, “objected to remarks of this kind.”  Then Mr. Justice COLLINS begged Mr. W. WRIGHT “not to make such picturesque interjections.”  Later on, Mr. HORACE BROWNE said to a Witness (whose name, “BURBAGE,” ought to have elicited from Judge or Counsel some apposite Shakspearian allusion—­but it didn’t), “Then you had him on toast.”  This also was received with “laughter.”  But Mr. WILDEY WRIGHT did not object to this.  No! he let it pass without interruption, implying by his eloquent silence that such a remark was neither a “picturesque interjection,” nor sufficiently humorous for him to take objection to it.  The other day, in a County Court, a Barrister refused to go on with a case until the Judge had done smiling!  But—­“This is another story.”

* * * * *

GOOD GRACE-IOUS!

  Two out of three, my GRACE!  That sounds a drubber. 
  No chance for England now to “win the rubber.” 
  We deemed you romping in, that second Cable;
  But your team didn’t.  Fact is, ’twasn’t ABEL
  (Though ABEL in himself was quite a team). 
  Well, well, your SHEFFIELD blades met quite the cream
  Of Cornstalk Cricketers.  Cheer up, cut in! 
  And when March comes, make that Third Match a Win! 
  We’re sure that while you hold the Captain’s place,
  Your men will win or lose with a good GRACE!

* * * * *

SUGGESTED TITLE FOR AN ACCOUNT OF A GORGEOUS BALLET OF UGLY GIRLS.—­The Story of the Glittering Plain.

* * * * *

[Illustration:  “STRAY SHEEP.”

(As illustrated by Mr. Chamberlain in his Speech in the House on Thursday, February 11.)

  “THOSE SHEEP WHO NEVER HEARD THEIR SHEPHERD’S VOICE;
  WHO DID NOT KNOW, YET WOULD NOT LEARN THEIR WAY;
  WHO STRAYED THEMSELVES, YET GRIEVED THAT I SHOULD STRAY.”]