“As I started to go out they stopped me and insisted upon my having an oyster stew.  I refused, for I always made it a practice never to accept even an apple from any one, because I could not return like courtesies.  While they were clamoring about the matter and I trying to get from them, the waiter brought on the oysters for the whole party, having taken it for granted that I was going to stay.  So to escape making myself any more conspicuous by further refusal, I sat down.  How gloriously every morsel tasted—­the first food I had touched for three days and three nights.  When I came to Chicago with a pocket full of money I sought James out and told him I owed him half a dollar.  He said no, but I insisted my memory was better than his, and made him take it.  Well, when I wanted ten dollars, I went to him, and he gave it to me freely, and would take no security.  Have written four hours this evening; two pounds of crackers; sleep on office floor to-night.”

The diary relates many incidents like this.  He took a boyish pride in refusing offers of assistance, in resisting temptation to innocent indulgence, in passing most of his hours in study, earning only enough by his copying to keep body and soul together.  One entry is, “Read one hundred and fifty pages of Blackstone—­slept on floor.”  Such a regimen was not long in having its effect upon even his rugged health.  He writes:  “I tried to read, but could not.  I am afraid my strength will not hold out.  I have contracted a cold by sleeping on the floor, which has settled in my head, and nearly sets me crazy with catarrh.  Then there is that gnawing, unsatisfied sensation which I begin to feel again, which prevents any long-continued application.”  About this time he was urged to take command of a company of cadets which, through mismanagement, had been reduced to a deplorable condition.  He at first declined, but afterward consented if the company would accept certain rigorous conditions of discipline and obedience.  He was as firm as granite to his company, and cheery and gay to the world, while in his private life he was subjecting himself to the cruel rigors described in his diary of April 21:  “I am convinced that the course of reading which I am pursuing is not sufficiently thorough.  Have commenced again at beginning of Blackstone.  I now read a proposition or paragraph and reason upon it; try to get at the principle involved, in my own language; view it in every light till I think I understand it; then write it down in my commonplace book.  My progress is, in consequence, very slow, as it takes on an average half an hour to each page.  Attended meeting of cadets’ committee on ways and means; all my propositions accepted.  I spent my last ten cents for crackers to-day.  Ten pages of Blackstone.”

The next day he writes:  “My mind was so occupied with obtaining money due to-morrow that I could not study.  Five pages of Blackstone.  Nothing whatever to eat.  I am very tired and hungry to-night.  Onward.”