To such as entertain the mistaken notion that politeness implies all give and little or no return, it is well to recall Coleridge’s definition of a gentleman:  “We feel the gentlemanly character present with us,” he said, “whenever, under all circumstances of social intercourse, the trivial, not less than the important, through the whole detail of his manners and deportment, and with the ease of a habit, a person shows respect to others in such a way as at the same time implies, in his own feelings, and habitually, an assured anticipation of reciprocal respect from them to himself.  In short, the gentlemanly character arises out of the feeling of equality acting as a habit, yet flexible to the varieties of rank, and modified without being disturbed or superseded by them.”  Definitions of a gentleman are numerous, and some of them famous; but we do not find such copiousness for choice in definitions of a lady.  Perhaps it has been understood all along that the admirable and just characteristics of a gentleman should of necessity be those also of a lady, with the charm of womanhood combined.  And, in these days, with the added responsibility of the vote.

Besides the significance of this volume as an indubitable authority on manners, it should be pointed out that as a social document, it is without precedent in American literature.  In order that we may better realize the behavior and environment of well-bred people, the distinguished author has introduced actual persons and places in fictional guise.  They are the persons and the places of her own world; and whether we can or can not penetrate the incognito of the Worldlys, the Gildings, the Kindharts, the Oldnames, and the others, is of no importance.  Fictionally, they are real enough for us to be interested and instructed in their way of living.  That they happen to move in what is known as Society is incidental, for, as the author declares at the very outset:  “Best Society is not a fellowship of the wealthy, nor does it seek to exclude those who are not of exalted birth; but it is an association of gentlefolk, of which good form in speech, charm of manner, knowledge of the social amenities, and instinctive consideration for the feelings of others, are the credentials by which society the world over recognizes its chosen members.”

The immediate fact is that the characters of this book are thoroughbred Americans, representative of various sections of the country and free from the slightest tinge of snobbery.  Not all of them are even well-to-do, in the postwar sense; and their devices of economy in household outlay, dress and entertainment are a revelation in the science of ways and means.  There are parents, children, relatives and friends all passing before us in the pageant of life from the cradle to the grave.  No circumstance, from an introduction to a wedding, is overlooked in this panorama and the spectator has beside him a cicerone in the person of the author who clears every doubt