Cards are left on the mother of the bride, after a wedding, also on the mother of the groom.

Cards are also left after any formal invitation.  Having been asked to lunch or dine with a lady whom you know but slightly you should leave your card whether you accepted the invitation or not, within three days if possible, or at least within a week, of the date for which you were invited.  It is not considered necessary (in New York at least) to ask if she is at home; promptness in leaving your card is, in this instance, better manners than delaying your “party call” and asking if she is at home.  This matter of asking at the door is one that depends upon the customs of each State and city, but as it is always wiser to err on the side of politeness, it is the better policy, if in doubt, to ask “Is Mrs. Blank at home?” rather than to run the risk of offending a lady who may like to see visitors.

A card is usually left with a first invitation to a stranger who has brought a letter of introduction, but it is more polite—­even though not necessary—­to ask to be received.  Some ladies make it a habit to leave a card on everyone on their visiting list once a season.

It is correct for the mother of a debutante to leave her card as well as her daughter’s on every lady who has invited the daughter to her house, and a courteous hostess returns all of these pasteboard visits.  But neither visit necessitates closer or even further acquaintance.

=VISITS WHICH EVERYONE MUST PAY=

Paying visits differs from leaving cards in that you must ask to be received.  A visit of condolence should be paid at once to a friend when a death occurs in her immediate family.  A lady does not call on a gentleman, but writes him a note of sympathy.

In going to inquire for sick people, you should ask to be received, and it is always thoughtful to take them gifts of books or fruit or flowers.

If a relative announces his engagement, you must at once go to see his fiancee.  Should she be out, you do not ask to see her mother.  You do, however, leave a card upon both ladies and you ask to see her mother if received by the daughter.

A visit of congratulation is also paid to a new mother and a gift invariably presented to the baby.

=MESSAGES WRITTEN ON CARDS=

“With sympathy” or “With deepest sympathy” is written on your visiting card with flowers sent to a funeral.  This same message is written on a card and left at the door of a house of mourning, if you do not know the family well enough to ask to be received.

“To inquire” is often written on a card left at the house of a sick person, but not if you are received.