One of the ladies with whom she works in church, having gradually learned to like her, asks her to her house.  Nothing may ever come of this, but another one also inviting her, may bring an introduction to a third, who takes a fancy to her.  This third lady also invites her where she meets an acquaintance she has already made on one of the two former occasions, and this acquaintance in turn invites her.  By the time she has met the same people several times, they gradually, one by one, offer to go and see her, or ask her to come and see them.  One inviolable rule she must not forget:  it is fatal to be pushing or presuming.  She must remain dignified always, natural and sympathetic when anyone approaches her, but she should not herself approach any one more than half way.  A smile, the more friendly the better, is never out of place, but after smiling, she should pass on!  Never grin weakly, and—­cling!

If she is asked to go to see a lady, it is quite right to go.  But not again, until the lady has returned the visit, or asked her to her house.  And if admitted when making a first visit, she should remember not to stay more than twenty minutes at most, since it is always wiser to make others sorry to have her leave than run the risk of having the hostess wonder why her visitor doesn’t know enough to go!

=THE ENTRANCE OF AN OUTSIDER=

The outsider enters society by the same path, but it is steeper and longer because there is an outer gate of reputation called “They are not people of any position” which is difficult to unlatch.  Nor is it ever unlatched to those who sit at the gate rattling at the bars, or plaintively peering in.  The better, and the only way if she has not the key of birth, is through study to make herself eligible.  Meanwhile, charitable, or civic work, will give her interest and occupation as well as throw her with ladies of good breeding, by association with whom she can not fail to acquire some of those qualities of manner before which the gates of society always open.

=WHEN POSITION HAS BEEN ESTABLISHED=

When her husband belongs to a club, or perhaps she does too, and the neighbors are friendly and those of social importance have called on her and asked her to their houses, a newcomer does not have to stand so exactly on the chalk line of ceremony as in returning her first visits and sending out her first invitations.

After people have dined with each other several times, it is not at all important to consider whether an invitation is owed or paid several times over.  She who is hospitably inclined can ask people half a dozen times to their once if she wants to, and they show their friendliness by coming.  Nor need visits be paid in alternate order.  Once she is really accepted by people she can be as friendly as she chooses.