The bride who is a stranger, but whose husband is well known in the town to which he brings her, is in much the same position as the bride noted above, in that her husband’s friends call on her; she returns their visits, and many of them invite her to their house.  But it then devolves upon her to make herself liked, otherwise she will find herself in a community of many acquaintances but no friends.  The best ingredients for likeableness are a happy expression of countenance, an unaffected manner, and a sympathetic attitude.  If she is so fortunate as to possess these attributes her path will have roses enough.  But a young woman with an affected pose and bad or conceited manners, will find plenty of thorns.  Equally unsuccessful is she with a chip-on-her-shoulder who, coming from New York for instance, to live in Brightmeadows, insists upon dragging New York sky-scrapers into every comparison with Brightmeadows’ new six-storied building.  She might better pack her trunks and go back where she came from.  Nor should the bride from Brightmeadows who has married a New Yorker, flaunt Brightmeadows standards or customs, and tell Mrs. Worldly that she does not approve of a lady’s smoking!  Maybe she doesn’t and she may be quite right, and she should not under the circumstances smoke herself; but she should not make a display of intolerance, or she, too, had better take the first train back home, since she is likely to find New York very, very lonely.

=HOW TOTAL STRANGERS ACQUIRE SOCIAL STANDING=

When new people move into a community, bringing letters of introduction to prominent citizens, they arrive with an already made position, which ranks in direct proportion to the standing of those who wrote the introductions.  Since, however, no one but “persons of position” are eligible to letters of importance, there would be no question of acquiring position—­which they have—­but merely of adding to their acquaintance.

As said in another chapter, people of position are people of position the world over, and all the cities strung around the whole globe are like so many chapter-houses of a brotherhood, to which letters of introduction open the doors.

However, this is off the subject, which is to advise those who have no position, or letters, how to acquire the former.  It is a long and slow road to travel, particularly long and slow for a man and his wife in a big city.  In New York people could live in the same house for generations, and do, and not have their next door neighbor know them even by sight.  But no other city, except London, is as unaware as that.  When people move to a new city, or town, it is usually because of business.  The husband at least makes business acquaintances, but the wife is left alone.  The only thing for her to do is to join the church of her denomination, and become interested in some activity; not only as an opening wedge to acquaintanceships and possibly intimate friendships, but as an occupation and a respite from loneliness.  Her social position is gained usually at a snail’s pace—­nor should she do anything to hurry it.  If she is a real person, if she has qualities of mind and heart, if she has charming manners, sooner or later a certain position will come, and in proportion to her eligibility.