Eugene Field could tell a group of people that it had rained to-day and would probably rain to-morrow, and make everyone burst into laughter—­or tears if he chose—­according to the way it was said.  But the ordinary rest of us must, if we would be thought sympathetic, intelligent or agreeable, “go fishing.”

=GOING FISHING FOR TOPICS=

The charming talker is neither more nor less than a fisherman.  (Fisherwoman rather, since in America women make more effort to be agreeable than men do.) Sitting next to a stranger she wonders which “fly” she had better choose to interest him.  She offers one topic; not much of a nibble.  So she tries another or perhaps a third before he “rises” to the bait.

=THE DOOR SLAMMERS=

There are people whose idea of conversation is contradiction and flat statement.  Finding yourself next to one of these, you venture: 

“Have you seen any good plays lately?”

“No, hate the theater.”

“Which team are you for in the series?”

“Neither.  Only an idiot could be interested in baseball.”

“Country must have a good many idiots!” mockingly.

“Obviously it has.”  Full stop.  In desperation you veer to the personal.

“I’ve never seen Mrs. Bobo Gilding as beautiful as she is to-night.”

“Nothing beautiful about her.  As for the name ‘Bobo,’ it’s asinine.”

“Oh, it’s just one of those children’s names that stick sometimes for life.”

“Perfect rot.  Ought to be called by his name,” etc.

Another, not very different in type though different in method, is the self-appointed instructor whose proper place is on the lecture platform, not at a dinner table.

“The earliest coins struck in the Peloponnesus were stamped on one side only; their alloy——­” etc.

Another is the expounder of the obvious:  “Have you ever noticed,” says he, deeply thinking, “how people’s tastes differ?”

Then there is the vulgarian of fulsome compliment:  “Why are you so beautiful?  It is not fair to the others——­” and so on.

=TACTLESS BLUNDERERS=

Tactless people are also legion.  The means-to-be-agreeable elderly man says to a passee acquaintance, “Twenty years ago you were the prettiest woman in town”; or in the pleasantest tone of voice to one whose only son has married.  “Why is it, do you suppose, that young wives always dislike their mothers-in-law?”

If you have any ambition to be sought after in society you must not talk about the unattractiveness of old age to the elderly, about the joys of dancing and skating to the lame, or about the advantages of ancestry to the self-made.  It is also dangerous, as well as needlessly unkind, to ridicule or criticize others, especially for what they can’t help.  If a young woman’s familiar or otherwise lax behavior deserves censure, a casual unflattering remark may not add to your own popularity if your listener is a relative, but you can at least, without being shamefaced, stand by your guns.  On the other hand to say needlessly “What an ugly girl!” or “What a half-wit that boy is!” can be of no value except in drawing attention to your own tactlessness.