To sit up straight and keep their hands in their laps when not occupied with eating, is very hard for a child, but should be insisted upon in order to prevent a careless attitude that all too readily degenerates into flopping this way and that, and into fingering whatever is in reach.  He must not be allowed to warm his hands on his plate, or drum on the table, or screw his napkin into a rope or make marks on the tablecloth.  If he shows talent as an artist, give him pencils or modeling wax in his playroom, but do not let him bite his slice of bread into the silhouette of an animal, or model figures in soft bread at the table.  And do not allow him to construct a tent out of two forks, or an automobile chassis out of tumblers and knives.  Food and table implements are not playthings, nor is the dining-room a playground.

=TALKING AT TABLE=

When older people are present at table and a child wants to say something, he must be taught to stop eating momentarily and look at his mother, who at the first pause in the conversation will say, “What is it, dear?” And the child then has his say.  If he wants merely to launch forth on a long subject of his own conversation, his mother says, “Not now, darling, we will talk about that by and by,” or “Don’t you see that mother is talking to Aunt Mary?”

When children are at table alone with their mother, they should not only be allowed to talk but unconsciously trained in table conversation as well as in table manners.  Children are all more or less little monkeys in that they imitate everything they see.  If their mother treats them exactly as she does her visitors they in turn play “visitor” to perfection.  Nothing hurts the feelings of children more than not being allowed to behave like grown persons when they think they are able.  To be helped, to be fed, to have their food cut up, all have a stultifying effect upon their development as soon as they have become expert enough to attempt these services for themselves.

Children should be taught from the time they are little not to talk about what they like and don’t like.  A child who is not allowed to say anything but “No, thank you,” at home, will not mortify his mother in public by screaming, “I hate steak, I won’t eat potato, I want ice cream!”

=QUIETNESS AT TABLE=

Older children should not be allowed to jerk out their chairs, to flop down sideways, to flick their napkins by one corner, to reach out for something, or begin to eat nuts, fruit or other table decorations.  A child as well as a grown person should sit down quietly in the center of his chair and draw it up to the table (if there is no one to push it in for him) by holding the seat in either hand while momentarily lifting himself on his feet.  He must not “jump” or “rock” his chair into place at the table.  In getting up from the table, again he must push his chair back quietly, using his hands on either side of the chair seat, and not by holding on to the table edge and giving himself, chair and all, a sudden shove!  There should never be a sound made by the pushing in or out of chairs at table.