Once graduated to the dining-room, any reversion to such tactics must be firmly reprehended, and the child should understand that continued offense means a return to the nursery.  But before company it is best to say as little as possible, since too much nagging in the presence of strangers lessens a child’s incentive to good behavior before them.  If it refuses to behave nicely, much the best thing to do is to say nothing, but get up and quietly lead it from the table back to the nursery.  It is not only bad for the child but annoying to a guest to continue instructions before “company,” and the child learns much more quickly to be well-behaved if it understands that good behavior is the price of admission to grown-up society.  A word or two such as, “Don’t lean on the table, darling,” or “pay attention to what you are doing, dear,” should suffice.  But a child that is noisy, that reaches out to help itself to candy or cake, that interrupts the conversation, that eats untidily has been allowed to leave the nursery before it has been properly graduated.

Table manners must, of course, proceed slowly in exactly the same way that any other lessons proceed in school.  Having learned when a baby to use the nursery implements of spoon and pusher, the child, when it is a little older, discards them for the fork, spoon and knife.

=THE PROPER USE OF THE FORK=

As soon, therefore, as his hand is dexterous enough, the child must be taught to hold his fork, no longer gripped baby-fashion in his fist, but much as a pencil is held in writing; only the fingers are placed nearer the “top” than the “point,” the thumb and two first fingers are closed around the handle two-thirds of the way up the shank, and the food is taken up shovel-wise on the turned-up prongs.  At first his little fingers will hold his fork stiffly, but as he grows older his fingers will become more flexible just as they will in holding his pencil.  If he finds it hard work to shovel his food, he can, for a while, continue to use his nursery pusher.  By and by the pusher is changed for a small piece of bread, which is held in his left hand and between thumb and first two fingers, and against which the fork shovels up such elusive articles as corn, peas, poached egg, etc.

=THE SPOON=

In using the spoon, he holds it in his right hand like the fork.  In eating cereal or dessert, he may be allowed to dip the bowl of the spoon toward him and eat from the end, but in eating soup he must dip his spoon away from him—­turning the outer rim of the bowl down as he does so—­fill the bowl not more than three-quarters full and sip it, without noise, out of the side (not the end) of the bowl.  The reason why the bowl must not be filled full is because it is impossible to lift a brimming spoonful of liquid to his mouth without spilling some, or in the case of porridge without filling his mouth too full.  While still very young he may be taught never to leave the spoon in a cup while drinking out of it, but after stirring the cocoa, or whatever it is, to lay the spoon in the saucer.