Picture that Mr. Strong Man who thrusts his thumbs into his armholes and sits tipped back in his chair with a cigar in the corner of his mouth and his heels comfortably reposing on his solid mahogany desk.  This is not in criticism of his relaxation, it is his own desk and certainly he has a right to put his heels on it if he wants to; likewise thumbs and armholes are his own.  It is merely a picture that leads to another:  Supposing a very great man comes into Mr. Strong Man’s office—­one whom he may consider a great man, a president perhaps of a big industry or of a railroad, or a senator—­and shortly afterwards, Strong Man’s own son comes into the room.  Would he like to see his son abashed, awkward, spasmodically jerky, like the poor bumpkin who came the other day to ask about removing the ashes, or worse yet, bold and boisterous or cheeky; or would he like that boy of his to come forward with an entire lack of self-consciousness, and as his father introduces him as “My Son!” have him put out his hand in frank and easy and yet deferential friendliness?  And then saying quickly and quietly whatever it was he came to say, as quickly and quietly make his way out again?  Would he be sorry that the big man thought, “Fine boy that!  Ability too!” Why would he think he had ability?  Because the ease and dexterity with which he handled the social incident automatically suggests ability to handle other situations!

=ETIQUETTE AND BUSINESS AUTHORITY=

Another point:  Does the self-made man stop to realize that his authority in business would be even greater than it is if he had the hall-marks, of cultivation?  For instance, when he comes in contact with college graduates and other cultivated men, his opinions gain or lose in weight exactly in proportion as he proves to be in their own “class” or below it.

A man unconsciously judges the authority of others by the standard of his own expert knowledge.  A crude man may be a genius in business management, but in the unspoken opinion of men of education, he is in other contacts inferior to themselves.  He is an authority they grant, but in limited lines only.

But when a man is met with who combines with business genius the advantage of polished manners and evident cultivation, his opinion on any subject broached at once assumes added weight.  Doesn’t it?

CHAPTER XXXIII

DRESS

Clothes are to us what fur and feathers are to beasts and birds; they not only add to our appearance, but they are our appearance.  How we look to others entirely depends upon what we wear and how we wear it; manners and speech are noted afterward, and character last of all.

In the community where we live, admirableness of character is the fundamental essential, and in order to achieve a position of importance, personality is also essential; but for the transient impression that we make at home, abroad, everywhere in public, two superficial attributes are alone indispensable:  good manners and a pleasing appearance.