This is neither sincerity nor insincerity, but merely bringing social knowledge into business dealing.  To make a pleasant and friendly impression is not alone good manners, but equally good business.  The crude man would undoubtedly show his eagerness to be rid of his visitor, and after offending the latter’s self-pride because of his inattentive discourtesy, be late for his own appointment!  The man of skill saw his visitor for fewer actual minutes, but gave the impression that circumstances over which he had no control forced him unwillingly to close the interview.  He not only gained the good will of his visitor, but arrived at his own appointment in plenty of time.

To listen attentively when one is spoken to, is merely one of the rules of etiquette.  The man who, while some one is talking to him, gazes out of the window or up at the ceiling, who draws squares and circles on the blotter, or is engrossed in his finger-nails or his shoes, may in his own mind be “finessing,” or very likely he is bored!  In the first case, the chances are he will lose the game; in the second, lots of people are bored, hideously bored, and most often the fault is their own; always they are at fault who show it.

=GOOD MANNERS AND “GOOD MIXERS"=

When one thinks of a man who is known in politics and business as a “good mixer,” one is apt to think of him as a rough diamond rather than a polished one.  In picturing a gentleman, a man of high cultivation, one instinctively thinks of one who is somewhat aloof and apart.  A good mixer among uncouth men may quite accurately be one who is also uncouth; but the best “mixer” of all is one who adjusts himself equally well to finer as well as to plainer society.  Education that does not confer flexibility of mind is an obviously limited education; the man of broadest education tunes himself in unison with whomever he happens to be.  The more subjects he knows about, the more people he is in sympathy with, and therefore the more customers or associates or constituents he is sure to have.

The really big man—­it makes little difference whether he was born with a gold spoon in his mouth or no spoon at all—­is always one whose interest in people, things, and events is a stimulating influence upon all those he comes in contact with.

He who says, “That does not interest me,” or “That bores me,” defines his own limitations.  He who is unable to project sympathy into other problems or classes than his own is an unimportant person though he have the birth of a Cecil and the manners of a Chesterfield.  Every gentleman has an inalienable right to his own reserves—­that goes without saying—­and because he can project sympathy and understanding where and when he chooses, does not for one moment mean that he thereby should break down the walls of his instinctive defenses.

It is not the latter type, but the “Gentleman Limited” who has belittled the name of “gentleman” in the world of work; not so much because he is a gentleman, as because he is not entirely one.  He who is every inch a gentleman as well as every inch a man is the highest type in the world to-day, just as he has always been.  The do-nothing gentleman is equally looked down upon everywhere.