A man whose social position is self-made is apt to be detected by his continual cataloguing of prominent names.  Mr. Parvenu invariably interlards his conversation with, “When I was dining at the Bobo Gilding’s”; or even “at Lucy Gilding’s,” and quite often accentuates, in his ignorance, those of rather second-rate, though conspicuous position.  “I was spending last week-end with the Richan Vulgars,” or “My great friends, the Gotta Crusts.”  When a so-called gentleman insists on imparting information, interesting only to the Social Register, shun him!

The born gentleman avoids the mention of names exactly as he avoids the mention of what things cost; both are an abomination to his soul.

A gentleman’s manners are an integral part of him and are the same whether in his dressing-room or in a ballroom, whether in talking to Mrs. Worldly or to the laundress bringing in his clothes.  He whose manners are only put on in company is a veneered gentleman, not a real one.

A man of breeding does not slap strangers on the back nor so much as lay his finger-tips on a lady.  Nor does he punctuate his conversation by pushing or nudging or patting people, nor take his conversation out of the drawing-room!  Notwithstanding the advertisements in the most dignified magazines, a discussion of underwear and toilet articles and their merit or their use, is unpleasant in polite conversation.

All thoroughbred people are considerate of the feelings of others no matter what the station of the others may be.  Thackeray’s climber who “licks the boots of those above him and kicks the faces of those below him on the social ladder,” is a, very good illustration of what a gentleman is not.

A gentleman never takes advantage of another’s helplessness or ignorance, and assumes that no gentleman will take advantage of him.

=SIMPLICITY AND UNCONSCIOUSNESS OF SELF=

These words have been literally sprinkled through the pages of this book, yet it is doubtful if they convey a clear idea of the attributes meant.

Unconsciousness of self is not so much unselfishness as it is the mental ability to extinguish all thought of one’s self—­exactly as one turns out the light.

Simplicity is like it, in that it also has a quality of self-effacement, but it really means a love of the essential and of directness.  Simple people put no trimmings on their phrases, nor on their manners; but remember, simplicity is not crudeness nor anything like it.  On the contrary, simplicity of speech and manners means language in its purest, most limpid form, and manners of such perfection that they do not suggest “manner” at all.

=THE INSTINCTS OF A LADY=

The instincts of a lady are much the same as those of a gentleman.  She is equally punctilious about her debts, equally averse to pressing her advantage; especially if her adversary is helpless or poor.