Don’t dwell on the details of illness or the manner of death; don’t quote endlessly from the poets and Scriptures.  Remember that eyes filmed with tears and an aching heart can not follow rhetorical lengths of writing.  The more nearly a note can express a hand-clasp, a thought of sympathy, above all, a genuine love or appreciation of the one who has gone, the greater comfort it brings.

Write as simply as possible and let your heart speak as truly and as briefly as you can.  Forget, if you can, that you are using written words, think merely how you feel—­then put your feelings on paper—­that is all.

Supposing it is a young mother who has died.  You think how young and sweet she was—­and of her little children, and, literally, your heart aches for them and her husband and her own family.  Into your thoughts must come some expression of what she was, and what their loss must be!

Or maybe it is the death of a man who has left a place in the whole community that will be difficult, if not impossible, to fill, and you think of all he stood for that was fine and helpful to others, and how much and sorely he will be missed.  Or suppose that you are a returned soldier, and it is a pal who has died.  All you can think of is “Poor old Steve—­what a peach he was!  I don’t think anything will ever be the same again without him.”  Say just that!  Ask if there is anything you can do at any time to be of service to his people.  There is nothing more to be said.  A line, into which you have unconsciously put a little of the genuine feeling that you had for Steve, is worth pages of eloquence.

A letter of condolence may be abrupt, badly constructed, ungrammatical—­never mind.  Grace of expression counts for nothing; sincerity alone is of value.  It is the expression, however clumsily put, of a personal something which was loved, and will ever be missed, that alone brings solace to those who are left.  Your message may speak merely of a small incident—­something so trifling that in the seriousness of the present, seems not worth recording; but your letter and that of many others, each bringing a single sprig, may plant a whole memory-garden in the hearts of the bereaved.

=EXAMPLES OF NOTES AND TELEGRAMS=

As has been said above, a letter of condolence must above everything express a genuine sentiment.  The few examples are inserted merely as suggestive guides for those at a loss to construct a short but appropriate note or telegram.

Conventional Note to an Acquaintance

    I know how little the words of an outsider mean to you just
    now—­but I must tell you how deeply I sympathize with you in your
    great loss.

Note or Telegram to a Friend

    All my sympathy and all my thoughts are with you in your great
    sorrow.  If I can be of any service to you, you know how grateful
    I shall be.

Telegram to a Very Near Relative or Friend