=CHECKING EXPENSES IN ADVANCE=

It is curious that long association with the sadness of death seems to have deprived an occasional funeral director of all sense of moderation.  Whether the temptation of “good business” gradually undermines his character—­knowing as he does that bereaved families ask no questions—­or whether his profession is merely devoid of taste, he will, if not checked, bring the most ornate and expensive casket in his establishment:  he will perform every rite that his professional ingenuity for expenditure can devise; he will employ every attendant he has; he will order vehicles numerous enough for the cortege of a president; he will even, if thrown in contact with a bewildered chief-mourner, secure a pledge for the erection of an elaborate mausoleum.

Some one, therefore, who has the family’s interest at heart and knows their taste and purse, should go personally to the establishment of the undertaker, and not only select the coffin, but go carefully into the specification of all other details, so that everything necessary may be arranged for, and unnecessary items omitted.

This does not imply that a family that prefers a very elaborate funeral should not be allowed to have one; but the great majority of people have moderate, rather than unlimited means, and it is not unheard of that a small estate is seriously depleted by vulgarly lavish and entirely inappropriate funeral expenses.  One would be a poor sort who for the sake of friends would not willingly endure a little troublesome inquiry, rather than witness a display of splurge and bad taste and realize at the same time that the friends who might have been protected will be deluged with bills which it cannot but embarrass them to pay.

=HONORARY PALLBEARERS=

The member of the family who is in charge will ask either when they come to the house, or by telephone or telegraph if they are at a distance, six or eight men who are close friends of the deceased to be the pallbearers.  When a man has been prominent in public life, he may have twelve or more from among his political or business associates as well as his lifelong social friends.  Near relatives are never chosen, as their place is with the women of the family.  For a young woman, her own friends or those of her family are chosen.  It is a service that may not under any circumstances except serious ill-health, be refused.

The one in charge will tell the pallbearers where they are to meet.  It used to be customary for them to go to the house on the morning of the funeral and drive to the church behind the hearse, but as everything tending to a conspicuous procession is being gradually done away with, it is often preferred to have them wait in the vestibule of the church.

Honorary pallbearers serve only at church funerals; They do not carry the coffin for the reason that, being unaccustomed to bearing such a burden, one of them might possibly stumble, or at least give an impression of uncertainty or awkwardness that might detract from the solemnity of the occasion.  The sexton’s assistants are trained for this service, so as to prevent in so far as is humanly possible a blundering occurrence.