The guests without reserved cards should arrive first in order to find good places; then come the reserved seat guests; and lastly, the immediate members of the families, who all have especial places in the front pews held for them.

It is not customary for one who is in deep mourning to go to a wedding, but there can be little criticism of an intimate friend who takes a place in the gallery of the church from which she can see the ceremony and yet be apart from the wedding guests.  At a wedding that is necessarily small because of mourning, the women of the family usually lay aside black for that one occasion and wear white.

In Front of the Ribbons

There are two ways in which people “in front of the ribbons” are seated.  The less efficient way is by means of a typewritten list of those for whom seats are reserved and of the pews in which they are to be seated, given to each usher, who has read it over for each guest who arrives at the church.  From every point of view, the typewritten list is bad; first, it wastes time, and as everyone arrives at the same moment, and every lady is supposed to be taken personally up the aisle “on the arm” of an usher, the time consumed while each usher looks up each name on several gradually rumpling or tearing sheets of paper is easily imagined.  Besides which, one who is at all intimate with either family can not help feeling in some degree slighted when, on giving one’s name, the usher looks for it in vain.

The second, and far better method, is to have a pew card sent, enclosed with the wedding invitation, or an inscribed visiting card sent by either family.  A guest who has a card with “Pew No. 12” on it, knows, and the usher knows, exactly where she is to go.  Or if she has a card saying “Reserved” or “Before the ribbons” or any special mark that means in the reserved section but no especial pew, the usher puts her in the “best position available” behind the first two or three numbered rows that are saved for the immediate family, and in front of the ribbons marking the reserved enclosure.

It is sometimes well for the head usher to ask the bride’s mother if she is sure she has allowed enough pews in the reserved section to seat all those with cards.  Arranging definite seat numbers has one disadvantage; one pew may have every seat occupied and another may be almost empty.  In that case an usher can, just before the procession is to form, shift a certain few people out of the crowded pews into the others.  But it would be a breach of etiquette for people to re-seat themselves, and no one should be seated after the entrance of the bride’s mother.

=THE BRIDEGROOM WAITS=

Meanwhile, about fifteen minutes before the wedding hour, the groom and his best man—­both in morning coats, top-hats, boutonnieres and white buckskin (but remember not shiny) gloves, walk or drive to the church and enter the side door which leads to the vestry.  There they sit, or in the clergyman’s study, until the sexton or an usher comes to say that the bride has arrived.