Her family think her absent-minded, distrait, aloof and generally useless.  His family never see him.  Their friends are bored to death with them—­not that they are really less devoted or loyal, but her men friends withdraw, naturally refraining from “breaking in.”  He has no time between business and going to see her to stop at his club or wherever friends of his may be.  Her girl friends do see her in the daytime, but gradually they meet less and less because their interests and hers no longer focus in common.  Gradually the stream of the social world goes rushing on, leaving the two who are absorbed in each other to drift forgotten in a backwater.  He works harder, perhaps, than ever, and she perhaps occupies herself in making things for her trousseau or her house, or otherwise preparing for the more contented days which seem so long in coming.

Once they are married, they no longer belong in a backwater, but find themselves again sailing in midstream.  It may be on a slow-moving current, it may be on a swift,—­but their barge sails in common with all other craft on the river of life.

Should a Long Engagement Be Announced?

Whether to announce an engagement that must be of long duration is not a matter of etiquette but of personal preference.  On the general principle that frankness is always better than secretiveness, the situation is usually cleared by announcing it.  On the other hand, as illustrated above, the certain knowledge of two persons’ absorption in each other always creates a marooned situation.  When it is only supposed, but not known, that a man and girl particularly like each other, their segregation is not nearly so marked.

=MEETING OF KINSMEN=

At some time before the wedding, it is customary for the two families to meet each other.  That is, the parents of the groom dine or lunch at the house of the parents of the bride to meet the aunts, uncles and cousins.  And then the parents of the bride are asked with the same purpose to the house of the groom-elect.

It is not necessary that any intimacy ensue, but it is considered fitting and proper that all the members of the families which are to be allied should be given an opportunity to know one another—­at least by sight.

=THE ENGAGED COUPLE AND THE CHAPERON=

The question of a chaperon differs with locality.  In Philadelphia and Baltimore, custom permits any young girl to go alone with a young man approved by her family to the theater, or to be seen home from a party.  In New York or Boston, Mrs. Grundy would hold up her hands and run to the neighbors at once with the gossip.

It is perhaps sufficient to say that if a man is thought worthy to be accepted by a father as his daughter’s husband, he should also be considered worthy of trust no matter where he finds himself alone with her.  It is not good form for an engaged couple to dine together in a restaurant, but it is all right for them to lunch, or have afternoon tea; and few people would criticize their being at the opera or the theater—­unless the performance at the latter was of questionable propriety.  They should take a chaperon if they motor to road-houses for meals—­and it goes without saying that they cannot go on a journey alone that can possibly last over night.