A handshake often creates a feeling of liking or of irritation between two strangers.  Who does not dislike a “boneless” hand extended as though it were a spray of sea-weed, or a miniature boiled pudding?  It is equally annoying to have one’s hand clutched aloft in grotesque affectation and shaken violently sideways, as though it were being used to clean a spot out of the atmosphere.  What woman does not wince at the viselike grasp that cuts her rings into her flesh and temporarily paralyzes every finger?

The proper handshake is made briefly; but there should be a feeling of strength and warmth in the clasp, and, as in bowing, one should at the same time look into the countenance of the person whose hand one takes.  In giving her hand to a foreigner, a married woman always relaxes her arm and fingers, as it is customary for him to lift her hand to his lips.  But by a relaxed hand is not meant a wet rag; a hand should have life even though it be passive.  A woman should always allow a man who is only an acquaintance to shake her hand; she should never shake his.  To a very old friend she gives a much firmer clasp, but he shakes her hand more than she shakes his.  Younger women usually shake the hand of the older; or they both merely clasp hands, give them a dropping movement rather than a shake, and let go.

=Polite greetings from younger to older=

It is the height of rudeness for young people not to go and shake hands with an older lady of their acquaintance when they meet her away from home, if she is a hostess to whose house they have often gone.  It is not at all necessary for either young women or young men to linger and enter into a conversation, unless the older lady detains them, which she should not do beyond the briefest minute.

Older ladies who are always dragging young men up to unprepossessing partners, are studiously avoided and with reason; but otherwise it is inexcusable for any youth to fail in this small exaction of polite behavior.  If a young man is talking with some one when an older lady enters the room, he bows formally from where he is, as it would be rude to leave a young girl standing alone while he went up to speak to Mrs. Worldly or Mrs. Toplofty.  But a young girl passing near an older lady can easily stop for a moment, say “How do you do, Mrs. Jones!” and pass on.

People do not cross a room to speak to any one unless—­to show politeness to an acquaintance who is a stranger there; to speak to an intimate friend; or to talk to some one about something in particular.

CHAPTER IV

SALUTATIONS OF COURTESY

=When A gentleman takes off his hat=

A gentleman takes off his hat and holds it in his hand when a lady enters the elevator in which he is a passenger, but he puts it on again in the corridor.  A public corridor is like the street, but an elevator is suggestive of a room, and a gentleman does not keep his hat on in the presence of ladies in a house.