=WHEN NO SPEECH IS MADE=

The prevailing custom in New York and other big cities is for the party to be given on the afternoon or evening of the day of announcement.  The engagement in this case is never proclaimed to the guests as an assembled audience.  The news is “out” and everyone is supposed to have heard it.  Those who have not, can not long remain ignorant, as the groom-elect is either receiving with his fiancee or brought forward by her father and presented to every one he does not know.  Everybody congratulates him and offers the bride-to-be good wishes for her happiness.

A dinner or other entertainment given to announce an engagement is by no means necessary.  “Quiet people” very often merely write notes of announcement and say they will be at home on such an afternoon at tea time.  The form and detail are exactly the same as on an habitual day at home except that the bride and groom-elect both receive as well as her mother.

=PARTIES FOR THE ENGAGED COUPLE=

If the families and friends of the young couple are at all in the habit of entertaining, the announcement of an engagement is the signal always for a shower of invitations.

The parents of the groom-elect are sure to give a dance, or a “party” of one kind or another “to meet” their daughter-to-be.  If the engagement is a short one, their life becomes a veritable dashing from this house to that, and every meal they eat seems to be one given for them by some one.  It is not uncommon for a bride-elect to receive a few engagement presents.  (These are entirely apart from wedding presents which come later.) A small afternoon teacup and saucer used to be the typical engagement gift, but it has gone rather out of vogue, along with harlequin china in general.  Engagement presents are usually personal trifles sent either by her own very intimate friends or by members of her fiance’s family as especial messages of welcome to hers—­and as such are very charming.  But any general fashion that necessitates giving engagement as well as wedding presents may well be looked upon with alarm by those who have only moderately filled pocketbooks!

=ENGAGED COUPLE IN PUBLIC=

There is said to be still preserved somewhere in Massachusetts a whispering reed through the long hollow length of which lovers were wont to whisper messages of tenderness to each other while separated by a room’s length and the inevitable chaperonage of the fiancee’s entire family.

From those days to these is a far cry, but even in this era of liberty and naturalness of impulse, running the gauntlet of people’s attention and criticism is no small test of the good taste and sense of a young couple.

The hall-mark of so-called “vulgar people” is unrestricted display of uncontrolled emotions.  No one should ever be made to feel like withdrawing in embarrassment from the over-exposed privacy of others.  The shrew who publicly berates her husband is no worse than the engaged pair who snuggle in public.  Every one supposes that lovers kiss each other, but people of good taste wince at being forced to play audience at love scenes which should be private.  Furthermore, such cuddling gives little evidence of the deeper caring—­no matter how ardent the demonstration may be.