A possible reason why bachelors seem to make such good hosts is that only those who have a talent for it make the attempt.  There is never any obligation on a gentleman’s part to invite ladies to stay with him, whereas it is part of every lady’s duty at least occasionally to be a hostess, whether she has talent, or even inclination, for the position or not.

A gentleman can return the courtesies of hostesses to him by occasionally sending flowers, or books, or candy, and by showing them polite attention when he meets them out.

If a bachelor lives in a house of his own, especially in a country community, he is under the same obligations as any other householder to return the hospitality shown by his neighbors to him.

=INVITATIONS=

The bachelor’s invitations are the same as those sent out by a hostess.  There is absolutely no difference.  His butler or waitress telephones “Will Mr. and Mrs. Norman dine with Mr. Bachelor on Wednesday?” Or he writes a note or uses the engraved dinner card.  In giving an informal dance it is quite correct, according to New York fashion, for him to write on his visiting card: 

[HW:  Monday Jan.^y 3^rd

At 10 o’clock]

Mr. Frederick Bachelor

[HW:  Small Dance] 2 Pormanto Place

Or an artist sends his card with his studio address and

[HW:  Saturday April 7. at 4 o’ck]

=MR. ANTHONY DAUBER=

[HW:  To hear Tonini Play] Park Studio

No invitation of a gentleman mentions that there will be a chaperon because that is taken for granted.  No gentleman invites ladies of position to a party unless one or many chaperons are to be present.

A very young girl never goes even to an unmarried doctor’s or a clergyman’s (unless the latter is very elderly) without a chaperon, who in this instance may be a semi-elderly maid.

A lady having her portrait painted always takes a woman friend, or her maid, who sits in the studio, or at least within sight or hearing.

CHAPTER XX

ENGAGEMENTS

=COURTSHIP=

So long as Romance exists and Lochinvar remains young manhood’s ideal, love at first sight and marriage in a week is within the boundaries of possibility.  But usually (and certainly more wisely) a young man is for some time attentive to a young woman before dreaming of marriage.  Thus not only have her parents plenty of time to find out what manner of man he is, and either accept or take means to prevent a serious situation; but the modern young woman herself is not likely to be “carried away” by the personality of anyone whose character and temperament she does not pretty thoroughly understand and weigh.

In nothing does the present time more greatly differ from the close of the last century, than in the unreserved frankness of young women and men towards each other.  Those who speak of the domination of sex in this day are either too young to remember, or else have not stopped to consider, that mystery played a far greater and more dangerous role when sex, like a woman’s ankle, was carefully hidden from view, and therefore far more alluring than to-day when both are commonplace matters.