Formal occasions demand strict conventions.  At an important wedding, at a dinner of ceremony, at a ball, it is not only bad form but shocking to deviate from accepted standards of formality.  “Surprize” is an element that must be avoided on all dignified occasions.  Those therefore, who think it would be original and pleasing to spring surprizes on their guests at an otherwise conventional and formal entertainment, should save their ideas for a children’s party where surprizes not only belong, but are delightedly appreciated.  To be sure, one might perhaps consider that scenic effects or unusual diversions, such as one sees at a costume ball or a “period” dinner, belong under the head of “surprize.”  But in the first place such entertainments are not conventional; and in the second, details that are in accordance with the period or design of the ball or dinner are “conventions” after all.

On the other hand, in the country especially, nothing can be more fun or more appropriate than a barn dance, or an impromptu play, or a calico masquerade, with properties and clothes made of any old thing and in a few hours—­even in a few minutes.

Music need not be an orchestra but it must be good, and the floor must be adequate and smooth.  The supper is of secondary importance.  As for manners, even though they may be “unrestrained,” they can be meticulously perfect for all that!  There is no more excuse for rude or careless or selfish behavior at a picnic than at a ball.

=PUBLIC BALLS=

A public ball is a ball given for a benefit or charity.  A committee makes the arrangements and tickets are sold to the public, either by being put on sale at hotels or at the house of the secretary of the committee.  A young girl of social position does not go to a public ball without a chaperon.  To go in the company of one or more gentlemen would be an unheard-of breach of propriety.

=SUBSCRIPTION DANCES AND BALLS=

These are often of greater importance in a community than any number of its private balls.  In Boston and Philadelphia for instance, a person’s social standing is dependent upon whether or not she or he is “invited to the Assemblies.”  The same was once true in New York when the Patriarch and Assembly Balls were the dominating entertainments.  In Baltimore too, a man’s social standing is non-existent if he does not belong to the “Monday Germans,” and in many other cities membership in the subscription dances or dancing classes or sewing circles distinctly draws the line between the inside somebodies and the outside nobodies.

Subscription dances such as these are managed and all invitations are issued by patronesses who are always ladies of unquestioned social prominence.  Usually these patronesses are elected for life, or at least for a long period of years.  When for one reason or another a vacancy occurs, a new member is elected by the others to fill her place.  No outsider may ever ask to become a member.  Usually a number of names are suggested and voted on at a meeting, and whoever wins the highest number of votes is elected.