=PROFESSIONAL OR HOME DINING ROOM SERVICE=

Just as it is better to hire a professional dinner-party cook than to run the risk of attempting a formal dinner with your own Nora or Selma unless you are very sure she is adequate, in the same way it is better to have a professional waitress as captain over your own, or a professional butler over your own inexperienced one, than to have your meal served in spasms and long pauses.  But if your waitress, assisted by the chambermaid, perfectly waits on six, you will find that they can very nicely manage ten, even with accompanied dishes.

=BLUNDERS IN SERVICE=

If an inexperienced servant blunders, you should pretend, if you can, not to know it.  Never attract anyone’s attention to anything by apologizing or explaining, unless the accident happens to a guest.  Under ordinary circumstances “least said, soonest mended” is the best policy.  If a servant blunders, it makes the situation much worse to take her to task, the cause being usually that she is nervous or ignorant.  Speak, if it is necessary to direct her, very gently and as kindly as possible; your object being to restore confidence, not to increase the disorder.  Beckon her to you and tell her as you might tell a child you were teaching:  “Give Mrs. Smith a tablespoon, not a teaspoon.”  Or, “You have forgotten the fork on that dish.”  Never let her feel that you think her stupid, but encourage her as much as possible and when she does anything especially well, tell her so.

=THE ENCOURAGEMENT OF PRAISE=

Nearly all people are quick to censure but rather chary of praise.  Admonish of course where you must, but censure only with justice, and don’t forget that whether of high estate or humble, we all of us like praise—­sometimes.  When a guest tells you your dinner is the best he has ever eaten, remember that the cook cooked it, and tell her it was praised.  Or if the dining-room service was silent and quick and perfect, then tell those who served it how well it was done.  If you are entertaining all the time, you need not commend your household after every dinner you give, but if any especial willingness, attentiveness, or tact is shown, don’t forget that a little praise is not only merest justice but is beyond the purse of no one.

CHAPTER XVI

LUNCHEONS, BREAKFASTS AND SUPPERS

=THE INVITATIONS=

Although the engraved card is occasionally used for an elaborate luncheon, especially for one given in honor of a noted person, formal invitations to lunch in very fashionable houses are nearly always written in the first person, and rarely sent out more than a week in advance.  For instance: 

    Dear Mrs. Kindhart (or Martha): 

    Will you lunch with me on Monday the tenth at half after one
    o’clock?

    Hoping so much to see you,

    Sincerely (or affectionately),
                         Jane Toplofty.