At dinner once, Mrs. Toplofty, finding herself next to a man she quite openly despised, said to him with apparent placidity, “I shall not talk to you—­because I don’t care to.  But for the sake of my hostess I shall say my multiplication tables.  Twice one are two, twice two are four ——­” and she continued on through the tables, making him alternate them with her.  As soon as she politely could she turned again to her other companion.

=MANNERS AT TABLE=

It used to be an offense, and it still is considered impolite, to refuse dishes at the table, because your refusal implies that you do not like what is offered you.  If this is true, you should be doubly careful to take at least a little on your plate and make a pretence of eating some of it, since to refuse course after course can not fail to distress your hostess.  If you are “on a diet” and accepted the invitation with that stipulation, your not eating is excusable; but even then to sit with an empty plate in front of you throughout a meal makes you a seemingly reproachful table companion for those of good appetite sitting next to you.

=ATTACKING A COMPLICATED DISH=

When a dinner has been prepared by a chef who prides himself on being a decorative artist, the guest of honor and whoever else may be the first to be served have quite a problem to know which part of an intricate structure is to be eaten, and which part is scenic effect!

The main portion is generally clear enough; the uncertainty is in whether the flowers are eatable vegetables and whether the things that look like ducks are potatoes, or trimming.  If there are six or more, the chances are they are edible, and that one or two of a kind are embellishments only.  Rings around food are nearly always to be eaten; platforms under food seldom, if ever, are.  Anything that looks like pastry is to be eaten; and anything divided into separate units should be taken on your plate complete.  You should not try to cut a section from anything that has already been divided into portions in the kitchen.  Aspics and desserts are, it must be said, occasionally Chinese puzzles, but if you do help yourself to part of the decoration, no great harm is done.

Dishes are never passed from hand to hand at a dinner, not even at the smallest and most informal one.  Sometimes people pass salted nuts to each other, or an extra sweet from a dish near by, but not circling the table.

=LEAVING THE TABLE=

At the end of dinner, when the last dish of chocolates has been passed and the hostess sees that no one is any longer eating, she looks across the table, and catching the eye of one of the ladies, slowly stands up.  The one who happens to be observing also stands up, and in a moment everyone is standing.  The gentlemen offer their arms to their partners and conduct them back to the drawing-room or the library or wherever they are to sit during the rest of the evening.