“R” or “L” is occasionally written on the lady’s name card in the envelopes given to the gentlemen, or if it is such a big dinner that there are many separate tables, the tables are numbered with standing placards (as at a public dinner) and the table number written on each lady’s name card.

=THE MANNERS OF A HOSTESS=

First of all, a hostess must show each of her guests equal and impartial attention.  Also, although engrossed in the person she is talking to, she must be able to notice anything amiss that may occur.  The more competent her servants, the less she need be aware of details herself, but the hostess giving a formal dinner with uncertain dining-room efficiency has a far from smooth path before her.  No matter what happens, if all the china in the pantry falls with a crash, she must not appear to have heard it.  No matter what goes wrong she must cover it as best she may, and at the same time cover the fact that she is covering it.  To give hectic directions, merely accentuates the awkwardness.  If a dish appears that is unpresentable, she as quietly as possible orders the next one to be brought in.  If a guest knocks over a glass and breaks it, even though the glass be a piece of genuine Steigel, her only concern must seemingly be that her guest’s place has been made uncomfortable.  She says, “I am so sorry, but I will have it fixed at once!” The broken glass is nothing! And she has a fresh glass brought (even though it doesn’t match) and dismisses all thought of the matter.

Both the host and hostess must keep the conversation going, if it lags, but this is not as definitely their duty at a formal, as at an informal dinner It is at the small dinner that the skilful hostess has need of what Thackeray calls the “showman” quality.  She brings each guest forward in turn to the center of the stage.  In a lull in the conversation she says beguilingly to a clever but shy man, “John, what was that story you told me——­” and then she repeats briefly an introduction to a topic in which “John” particularly shines.  Or later on, she begins a narrative and breaks off suddenly, turning to some one else, “You tell them!”

These examples are rather bald, and overemphasize the method in order to make it clear.  Practise and the knowledge of human nature, or of the particular temperament with which she is trying to deal, can alone tell her when she may lead or provoke this or that one to being at his best, to his own satisfaction as well as that of the others who may be present.  Her own character and sympathy are the only real “showman” assets, since no one “shows” to advantage except in a congenial environment.

=THE LATE GUEST=