Some hostesses, especially those of the Lion-Hunting and the New-to-Best-Society variety are much given to explanations, and love to say “Mrs. Jones, I want you to meet Mrs. Smith.  Mrs. Smith is the author of ‘Dragged from the Depths,’ a most enlightening work of psychic insight.”  Or to a good-looking woman, “I am putting you next to the Assyrian Ambassador—­I want him to carry back a flattering impression of American women!”

But people of good breeding do not over-exploit their distinguished guests with embarrassing hyperbole, or make personal remarks.  Both are in worst possible taste.  Do not understand by this that explanations can not be made; it is only that they must not be embarrassingly made to their faces.  Nor must a “specialist’s” subject be forced upon him, like a pair of manacles, by any exploiting hostess who has captured him.  Mrs. Oldname might perhaps, in order to assist conversation for an interesting but reticent person, tell a lady just before going in to dinner, “Mr. Traveler who is sitting next to you at the table, has just come back from two years alone with the cannibals.”  This is not to exploit her “Traveled Lion” but to give his neighbor a starting point for conversation at table.  And although personal remarks are never good form, it would be permissible for an older lady in welcoming a very young one, especially a debutante or a bride, to say, “How lovely you look, Mary dear, and what an adorable dress you have on!”

But to say to an older lady, “That is a very handsome string of pearls you are wearing,” would be objectionable.

=THE DUTY OF THE HOST=

The host stands fairly near his wife so that if any guest seems to be unknown to all of the others, he can present him to some one.  At formal dinners introductions are never general and people do not as a rule speak to strangers, except those next to them at table or in the drawing-room after dinner.  The host therefore makes a few introductions if necessary.  Before dinner, since the hostess is standing (and no gentleman may therefore sit down) and as it is awkward for a lady who is sitting, to talk with a gentleman who is standing, the ladies usually also stand until dinner is announced.

=WHEN DINNER IS ANNOUNCED=

It is the duty of the butler to “count heads” so that he may know when the company has arrived.  As soon as he has announced the last person, he notifies the cook.  The cook being ready, the butler, having glanced into the dining-room to see that windows have been closed and the candles on the table lighted, enters the drawing-room, approaches the hostess, bows, and says quietly, “Dinner is served.”

The host offers his arm to the lady of honor and leads the way to the dining-room.  All the other gentlemen offer their arms to the ladies appointed to them, and follow the host, in an orderly procession, two and two; the only order of precedence is that the host and his partner lead, while the hostess and her partner come last.  At all formal dinners, place cards being on the table, the hostess does not direct people where to sit.  If there was no table diagram in the hall, the butler, standing just within the dining-room door, tells each gentleman as he approaches “Right” or “Left.”