Those who have been drawn into a conversation do not usually shake hands on parting.  But there is no fixed rule.  A lady sometimes shakes hands after talking with a casual stranger; at other times she does not offer her hand on parting from one who has been punctiliously presented to her.  She may find the former sympathetic and the latter very much the contrary.

Very few rules of etiquette are inelastic and none more so than the acceptance or rejection of the strangers you meet.

There is a wide distance between rudeness and reserve.  You can be courteously polite and at the same time extremely aloof to a stranger who does not appeal to you, or you can be welcomingly friendly to another whom you like on sight.  Individual temperament has also to be taken into consideration:  one person is naturally austere, another genial.  The latter shakes hands far more often than the former.  As already said, it is unforgivably rude to refuse a proffered hand, but it is rarely necessary to offer your hand if you prefer not to.

=What to say when introduced=

Best Society has only one phrase in acknowledgment of an introduction:  “How do you do?” It literally accepts no other.  When Mr. Bachelor says, “Mrs. Worldly, may I present Mr. Struthers?” Mrs. Worldly says, “How do you do?” Struthers bows, and says nothing.  To sweetly echo “Mr. Struthers?” with a rising inflection on “—­thers?” is not good form.  Saccharine chirpings should be classed with crooked little fingers, high hand-shaking and other affectations.  All affectations are bad form.

Persons of position do not say:  “Charmed,” or “Pleased to meet you,” etc., but often the first remark is the beginning of a conversation.  For instance,

Young Struthers is presented to Mrs. Worldly.  She smiles and perhaps says, “I hear that you are going to be in New York all winter?” Struthers answers, “Yes, I am at the Columbia Law School,” etc., or since he is much younger than she, he might answer, “Yes, Mrs. Worldly,” especially if his answer would otherwise be a curt yes or no.  Otherwise he does not continue repeating her name.

TAKING LEAVE OF ONE YOU HAVE JUST MET

After an introduction, when you have talked for some time to a stranger whom you have found agreeable, and you then take leave, you say, “Good-by, I am very glad to have met you,” or “Good-by, I hope I shall see you again soon”—­or “some time.”  The other person answers, “Thank you,” or perhaps adds, “I hope so, too.”  Usually “Thank you” is all that is necessary.

In taking leave of a group of strangers—­it makes no difference whether you have been introduced to them or merely included in their conversation—­you bow “good-by” to any who happen to be looking at you, but you do not attempt to attract the attention of those who are unaware that you are turning away.