On one occasion the Duke of DITCHWATER and a Lady entered the same omnibus simultaneously. There was but one seat, and noticing that His Grace was standing, I called attention to the fact. “Certainly,” replied His Grace, with a quiet smile, “but if I had sat down, the Lady would not have enjoyed her present satisfactory position!” The Lady herself had taken the until then vacant place!
Shortly afterwards I met Viscount VERMILION walking in an opposite direction to the path I myself was pursuing. “My Lord,” I murmured, removing my hat, “I was quite prepared to step into the gutter.” “It was unnecessary,” returned his Lordship, graciously, “for as the path was wide, there was room enough for both of us to pass on the same pavement!”
On a very wet evening I saw My Lord TOMNODDICOMB coming from a shop in Piccadilly. Noticing that his Lordship had no defence against the weather, I ventured to offer the Peer my parapluie.
[Illustration]
“Please let me get into my carriage,” observed his Lordship. Then discovering, from my bowing attitude, that I meant no insolence by my suggestion, he added,—“And as for your umbrella—surely on this rainy night you can make use of it yourself?”
Yet again. The Marchioness of LOAMSHIRE was on the point of crossing a puddle.
Naturally I divested myself of my greatcoat, and threw it as a bridge across her Ladyship’s dirty walk.
The Marchioness smiled, but her Ladyship has never forgotten the circumstance, and I have the coat still by me.
And yet some people declare that the wives of Members of the House of Lords are wanting in consideration!
Believe me, dear Mr. Punch,
Yours enthusiastically, S. NOB.
The Cringeries, Low Booington.
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NOTICE—No. XXV. of “Travelling Companions” next week.
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[Illustration: FANCY PORTRAIT.
SENOR DRUMMONDO WOLFFEZ, REPRESENTING THE JOHN BULLFIGHTER AT MADRID.
"TOREADOR CONTENTO!"]
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THE JUDGES IN COUNCIL.
["All the judicial wisdom of the Supreme Court has met in solemn and secret conclave, heralded by letters from the heads of the Bench, admitting serious evils in the working of the High Court of Justice; a full working day was appropriated for the occasion; the learned Judges met at 11 A.M. (nominally) and rose promptly for luncheon, and for the day, at 1.30 P.M. Two-and-a-half hours’ work, during which each of the twenty-eight judicial personages no doubt devoted all his faculties and experience to the discovery, discussion, and removal of the admittedly numerous defects in the working of the Judicature Acts! Two-and-a-half hours, which might have been stolen from the relaxations of a Saturday afternoon! Two-and-a-half hours,