* * *

A woman rules until she tries to rule,—­which will be an enigma to many.

Out of a wife’s obedience will grow her governance; never out of her dominance.—­Those who think this sheer nonsense, are welcome to think so.  But it is worth thinking about.

* * *

A man ought to rule his wife.  Granted.  But he cannot do this unless he rules himself.  The Colonel of a Regiment cannot command if he himself breaks the King’s or the State’s Regulations.  And

An uncontrolled wife deems her husband indifferent—­or weak.  The number of husbands who, though they think they rule, yet in reality are ruled, would astonish—­not their wives, but themselves.

It is customary to call the man the head of the household; yet, between man and wife, it is a question after all whether it is not the stronger will and the cooler judgment that should, and generally does, guide the family, independent of sex or custom.

* * *

As in the solar spectrum, so in love:  beyond and intermingled with the visible rays of passion are numerous actinic but invisible rays of affection, invisible to careless spectators, but known and felt by the recipients.  These, too, must be introduced if the connubial domicile is to be warmed as well as illuminated.

* * *

The marriage tie loosens all other ties.  In fact,

Neither men or women are always aware of the absoluteness of the marriage tie:  thenceforward the woman belongs not to her own people, hardly to herself.—­As to the man, well,

Often a wife will actually be jealous of the time and attention her husband spends on things and matters unconnected with her—­his work —­his play—­his politics—­his friends—­his club.

* * *

Many are there who still believe that the marriage service, like a legal indenture, irrevocably entails the whole estate of a human heart.  In sober truth,

There never was a married couple yet who had not to purchase their own happiness.  And

The only charms that increase in value as time goes on are the charms of character; beside these, those of person, and even those of mind, are weak.  In short,

In marriage, as in every human relationship, it is character that avails and prevails, naught else.

* * *

Chemists draw a distinction between a chemical and a mechanical mixture.  Moralists might discover the same in marriage.

* * *

To encircle monogamy with an ever-increasing halo of romance—­that is a problem deserving of study.

Monogamy is one of the disharmonies of life; it seems (as I have said) to be the decree of politics rather than of nature.

But surely polygamy or polyandry would be more disharmonious still.

* * *

Marriage renders no one immune.  That is to say;

Unless husband and wife both avoid infection, both can catch amatory fevers.