Ah!  Love, not in every conflict art thou victor crowned. (2)

(2) Eros anikate machan.—­Sophocles, Antigone, 781

* * *

XIII.  On Marriage and Married Life

ariston andri ktaema sympathaes gunae.  —­Hippothoon

Marriage laws are framed, not for or by the likes and dislikes of men and women, but by the exigencies of social, often of political, economy.  Therefore

Men and women’s likes and dislikes are obliged to conform to the usages demanded by social and political economy:  so

In Turkey women accept with a good grace the custom of a plurality of wives; in Tibet men accept with good grace a plurality of husbands.  In the western world .. . .  Humph!

Always will there be everywhere prevalent a latent hostility between the likes and dislikes of men and women on one hand, and the laws enforced by a social and political community on the other.  This is why

Always there will be those who will try to “reform” the marriage state:  some looking only to the likes and dislikes of men and women, others only to the advantages which shall accrue to the State.  So,

Some there will be will always advocate a loosening of the marriage bond, others who will seek to make it indissoluble.  Both should remember that

The unit of the State is the family; therefore the State makes laws, not to suit the tastes or convenience of the husband and the wife, but for the good and preservation of the family.  All of which, surely, is right and proper, since

It is the business of the State to make laws governing the welfare of the generations to come.  In fine

The children—­they are the pivot about which all matrimonial controversies should turn.

Reformers of marriage laws should seek a preventative, not a cure; since

It is doubtful whether the ills of matrimony are really curable, for, generally speaking,

Matrimonial incompatibility is a malignant, not a benignant, disease; its prognosis is doubtful; nor does it run a regular course.

* * *

Many are the women who, soon after marriage, silently turn over in their minds this little problem:  whether it were better to marry the man they loved but who did not love them; or to marry the man who loved them but to whom they were indifferent.  And

The man a woman ultimately marries will give her no clue to the solution.  And for the following reasons: 

(i) He, fond wight, does not know that any such problem is agitating her little brain; and

(ii) She, of course, dare not divulge the factors of the problem.  In short,

Most marriages are brought about by the following simple, yet fateful, consideration:  The man marries the woman he wants; the woman marries the man who wants her.  The two propositions, though apparently identical, often produce results very far from identical.  And yet,