girl. Her old mother, who believed her dead,
had often cried and said to the neighbours that her
beauty had been Cuckoo’s undoing. Thus do
we lay blame on the few fine gifts that should gild
our lives. But Cuckoo had been very pretty and
had soon learnt the first foul lesson of her
métier,
to wake swift desire. As time went on and she
wasted her gift of beauty along the pavements of London,
she found this poor power failing in strength and
in certainty. As to the power of wakening that
slower, deeper, kindred, yet opposed desire of love,
Cuckoo had never known whether she possessed it.
She had had many lovers, but nobody to love her really,
and this in days of her beauty, or at any rate her
gracious prettiness. No wonder, then, that now
a chill ran over her at the thought of the task that
lay before her if she was to gain her battle.
To break Valentine’s influence she had to make
Julian love her. How? Instinctively, and
with a sense of horror, she knew that her usual practised
arts, instead of helping, almost fatally handicapped
her now. She loved Julian purely, so purely that
she could not endure that he should meet her degradation
as he had met it on that one night she never thought
of but with repentance. Yet to her ignorance,
to her, rising towards purity now, yet ever steeped
in the coarsest knowledge, it seemed that the thing
called love could hardly utter itself save by some
threadbare blandishment, or parrot combination of words,
used each night by a hundred women of the town.
Cuckoo knew no language of love that was not, so to
say, bad language, inasmuch as it was used by those
whom she hated. And hitherto she had been content
to keep her love for Julian a silent love, except
on the few occasions when she had obliquely showed
it by the anger of jealousy or of reproach. She
wished nothing bodily from him, or if she did, stifled
the wish in the mutely repeated record of her own
unworthiness. But now, if she was to draw his
soul to hers, she must move forward, she must surely
commit some sacrifice, perform some deed. What
deed could she perform? What sacrifice could she
make that would win upon him, that would alter his
relation towards her from one of eccentric friendship
to one of affection that might even be governed?
The lady of the feathers did not reason this all out
in her mind as she sat before the spluttering fire,
but she felt it, a tangled mass of thoughts, catching
her brain as in a net, catching her life as in a net
too. How could she make Julian love her?
What could she do? And all the time, as she asked
herself passionately that question, the hours were
gliding by towards the evening refrain of her life.
Cuckoo began to consider this evening refrain as she
had never considered it before, as it might affect
another if he loved her. If she made Julian love
her, if she succeeded in this attempt that seemed as
if it must be impossible, what of her evening refrain
then? And what would be the conclusion of such